Filed Under » NHL

#1 — The Potty Putter

Forget reading the paper or gathering your thoughts; the time you spend on the toilet gives golfers a valuable opportunity to work on their putting. The Potty Putter comes with its own putting surface, cup, and toilet-sized putter to let lavatory linksmen perfect their putts while atop the throne. (Provided they really, really struggle with two-foot gimme putts.)

The only problem here is that you probably won't be able to sit on a toilet with your pants around your ankles and use a miniature putter when you're on an actual green, but nobody said making the Ryder Cup team was going to be easy. Lugging a toilet for 18 holes seems like a small price to pay to curb all those double bogeys.

#2 — Jumpsoles

Jumpsoles bill themselves as "the world's most popular tool for increasing your vertical jump," and they even guarantee an increase of 5-10 inches in your vertical leaping abilities. Of course, that will still leave you 70 to 80 inches short of what you'll need to jump over the people who will want to kick your ass when they see you wearing them.

You see, Jumpsoles shift your body weight onto your calves while conveniently also making you look like an idiot with giant, mutant shoes.

Don't take our word for it, though. Check out this commercial. Who needs Kobe Bryant jumping over an Aston Martin when you can have some random kid bounding over a 1999 Honda Accord?