Video Edmonton's Ryan Whitney Insists that Edmonton Sucks
He wouldn't go as far as saying their third best. Ninth best, maybe.
Video NHL Lockout is Over! Ilya Bryzgalov is Back to Saying Things!
He is has somehow added even more humor to Philadelphia's goalie situation.
Poll Who should make the final decision on whether an injured player should play?
- the player -- players know what their bodies can handle, even if their decision-making abilities are possibly slightly impaired by being shot up with enough painkillers to kill a hippopotamus
- head coach -- head coaches are just great at keeping sports in their proper perspective in life, so it's really doubtful they'd ever put a player in harm's way over what is essentially just a meaningless game
- medical staff -- instead of playing sports their whole lives like real men, these nerds learned all about science and medicine so they're, like, experts on this crap
- other -- maybe the decision should be given to an independent third party, like sports radio hosts or fans chanting "PUS-SY! PUS-SY! PUS-SY!"
Picture Hockey Fever Has Spread as Far South as Pennsylvania and New Jersey
Good job on that expansion, Bettman.
Opinion 20 Ways the NHL Can Win Back Angry Fans
1. Give everyone the NHL Center Ice television package for free.
2. Give everyone the NHL Center Ice package for free, but black out all Blue Jackets and Islanders games.
3. Have Gary Bettman tour around to every NHL arena and let season ticket holders punch him in the nuts.
4. Do the same with Donald Fehr, but only punches to the stomach.
5. Free snow cones made with ice shavings collected between periods!
6. Instead of playing shorthanded when killing a penalty, teams must play with five Disney On Ice characters on the ice. You know, for the kids!
7. Torture Don Cherry on-the-air by making him wear khakis and a sensible polo shirt.
8. Free beer. And not that Molson garbage.
9. Maybe give mandatory player steroids a try. It made baseball popular again after its labor problems.
Video NHL Lockout Ends Via World War II News Reel
We have peace in our time. Now drop the gloves and fight.
News Report: NHL Owners and Players Still Not in Agreement on When Next Lockout Should Be
The league's proposal increases limit on player contracts to six years from the previous offer of five years and increases the year-to-year salary variance, among other things. The main sticking point, however, remains when the owners and players will cripple the sport again with another lockout.
"The NHL insists, and will not budge on this, that the next lockout be in 2017-2018," said deputy commissioner Bill Daly. "However, the players want it no earlier than 2021-2022, which is not something we are comfortable with. More than eight years of labor peace? Not on our watch."
Commissioner Gary Bettman insists that any more than seven consecutive full seasons will cause the NHL's revenues, ratings and popularity to grow too large, leaving the league with "difficult decisions on how to share the wealth."
Bettman, and the owners, believe it is better to "essentially shut hockey down every few years to reset our fiscal books and keep everything nice and small."
