Florida Panthers fans will have to do a lot of air humping.
Needs more KHL.
#1 Extremely expensive food
What's the best way to impress a date? Take her to an expensive restaurant, of course!
But even the most expensive 5-star restaurant in town doesn't charge $6 for soda or $5 for water. This concession stand does, though so it must be the best restaurant in town! Your date will no doubt be impressed by your big-spending ways and your ways in the art of love.
#2 Fine clothing
The finest establishments require patrons to wear expensive clothing. See that guy over there in that jersey? And that guy there? And her over there? And me? These are authentic jerseys. They cost $250. That's right, baby 250. Just for a shirt. We're practically at a Milan fashion show here.
Fancy clothing. Expensive dinner. Now it's time to dance because they're playing Gangnam Style during the timeout! WOOOOOOOOO! Heyyyyyyyyy sex-y la-dy!
I guess they got walked a lot and/or had sacrifice flies.
He's probably better at hockey than he was at baseball.
Traitor cat should be a Florida Panthers fan.
1. The original owner of the Detroit Tigers was killed by a tiger attack while on vacation in Bangladesh.
2. Dunking a basketball is against the law in Belgium and can earn a week in jail and a €750 fine.
3. Testing done in 1991 found that the Stanley Cup is covered in more fecal bacteria than the average public restroom toilet.
4. The distance of the Indianapolis 500 is actually 494.6 miles.
5. The first protective cups were made from the shells of lobster tails.
Is hockey reporting too dangerous? Should the commissioner shut it down?
"We've dug ourselves a big hole, no doubt about that," said team captain Alexander Ovechkin, after a 5-2 loss to the Penguins. "But we have the talent in this locker room to come roaring back and to enter the playoffs as the hottest team in hockey and really get everyone excited, only to then get eliminated in the first or second round. I guarantee it."
Ovechkin's brash guarantee of another early playoff exit was backed up by his teammates.
"I'm 100-percent behind Alex," said goaltender Braden Holtby. "I know I've seen nothing from this team that suggests we would win a playoff series. The toughest part will be making the playoffs, of course. But if we do? I'll say it, I'm not scared. Write this down: We will get eliminated immediately. How's that for confidence?"
Might want to use some of that padding for the most delicate spot next time.