February 27, 2013

Video Shamarko Thomas Runs 4.3 40, Falls on His Face

Roger Goodell will fine him for that blow to the head.

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Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft   Shamarko Thomas
February 27, 2013

News 49ers Trade Alex Smith and Colin Kaepernick to the Chiefs Just to Torture Smith

49ers Continue to Torture Alex Smith by Trading Him and Colin Kaepernick to the Chiefs - Image 1
The San Francisco 49ers today dealt Alex Smith to the Kansas City Chiefs in exchange for a second-round pick in the 2013 draft and a conditional mid-round pick in 2014. The team also included Colin Kaepernick in the deal with the Chiefs.

"Yes! I can't wait to play for the Chiefs!" Smith exclaimed when told of the trade.

"Son of a BITCH," he added, when informed of the full details of trade.

San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh said the deal was just too good to pass up.

"It was completely worth it for the look on Alex's face when I told him he was traded to the Chiefs — he was so excited — only to then tell him that Colin was going, too," said Harbaugh. "I will never forget the look of joy to complete depression in a moment. So hilarious. It made my day."

Harbaugh admits that including his young starting quarterback in the trade will likely hurt his team in the short-run.

"But, hey, we didn't win the Super Bowl with Colin anyway, so I felt that screwing with Alex like this would be the perfect way to get us over that loss and get us laughing and having fun again," said the coach. "And it was. Seriously, you should have seen the look on Alex's face. I hope someone got a picture of it. Priceless."

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February 27, 2013

Video British Teenagers Attempt to Explain American Football and the NFL

Come on. That "British" kid in the Florida Gators sweatshirt is clearly an American spy.

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Filed Under   NFL   NCAAF
February 26, 2013

Video Manti Te'o Falls Over at the NFL Combine

He tripped on … wait for it … wait for it … the corpse of his fake dead girlfriend. ZING.

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Filed Under   NFL   Manti Te'o   2013 NFL Draft
February 27, 2013

Opinion Negative Yelp Reviews of Stadiums and Arenas are AWESOME

Yankee Stadium

Negative Yelp Reviews of Stadiums and Arenas are AWESOME - Image 1
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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   NCAAF   NHL
February 26, 2013

Picture Sports Gambling Map is Exactly as You'd Predict

Even in an anonymous poll, Utah residents are morally upright.

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   NCAAF   NCAAB   NHL
February 26, 2013

News Manti Te'o to Comment on Slow 40 Time as Soon as He Catches His Breath

Manti Teo to Comment on Slow 40 Time as Soon as He Catches His Breath - Image 1
Former Notre Dame standout Manti Te'o will reportedly speak about his plodding 4.82 time in the 40 at the NFL Combine as soon as he is no longer hunched over and gasping for air.

"Jus … gimme … one … sec …," said Te'o, with a pained expression on his face and his chest heaving. "Ahhh … I need … a few … … minutes."

Te'o's time was one of the slowest among all linebackers at the Combine and drew disappointed looks from coaches and scouts sitting around the field.

"I … can explain …," Te'o muttered, now laying on his back with his arms and legs outstretched. "I … just need … some … water … please … water."

With a poor performance at the Combine on the heels of questions about his intelligence due to being "catfished" by a fake girlfriend and playing horribly in the BCS title game, Te'o will now have to address many doubts teams have about him. And that's something he plans to do.

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Filed Under   NFL   Manti Te'o   2013 NFL Draft
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Filed Under   NFL   Oakland Raiders   Desmond Bryant
February 25, 2013

Picture Sean Payton Forgot How to Use Binoculars

He think players look much smaller than they used to.

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Filed Under   NFL   New Orleans Saints   Sean Payton
February 25, 2013

News Manti Te'o's Intelligence Questioned After He Eats Wonderlic Exam

Manti Teos Intelligence Questioned After He Eats Wonderlic Exam - Image 1
Manti Te'o's draft stock took another hit today after he scored a zero on the Wonderlic exam. The Notre Dame linebacker did not complete the exam because he ate it soon after it was handed to him.

"Mmmm. Is this bread? This looks like bread," witnesses say the noted moron said at his seat in the exam room. "Manti hungry. I eat this bread."

Te'o then balled the exam up and began gnawing on it.

"Ouch! Bread bite Manti!" the linebacker exclaimed after he bit his own hand. "No, bread! Why so tasty yet so mean!"

After consuming his exam, Te'o reached for another prospect's exam, but got his hand slapped and recoiled. He then stared out the window and picked his nose until the exam time ended.

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Filed Under   NFL   Manti Te'o   2013 NFL Draft