News Johnny Manziel Signs 5-Year, $150 Million Deal with Dallas Cowboys Because He Can Do Whatever He Wants
Manziel is technically not even eligible for the NFL draft until next year, let alone unrestricted free agency, and this year's free agents are not allowed to be signed until next week, but NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said the deal is approved.
"It's Johnny Manziel. Who's going to say no to him? What a guy," said Goodell. "Plus, it wasn't really up to me to turn it down anyway. Johnny called me up and told me how it was going to be."
Despite signing with the Cowboys, Manziel retains his college eligibility under the deal for as long as he wants it.
"I figure I'll play some college ball on Saturday, have some fun in College Station on Saturday night, then fly to Dallas or wherever Sunday morning to play for the Cowboys," said Manziel. "I think I'm at the age where I'm ready for this. I can't still be partying on Sunday afternoons anymore."
Manziel said he is also willing to join his Cowboys teammates on Saturday night if there is a big game or "if they're playing in Miami or New Orleans or some place like that."
The deal also gives Manziel courtside seats to every NBA game, access to Hollywood premieres and awards shows, and unlimited use of Kate Upton although Manziel insists "trust me, I already have that."
The sports world has many powerful figures. Roger Goodell. David Stern. Phil Knight. Scott Boras. But the powerful can't be powerful if there aren't nearby powerless to crush. It's time to determine the most powerless figure in sports.
Too bad he'll have a broken nose for draft night.
That is an awesome onside kick. Draft her in the first round.
News Joe Flacco Asks for Entire Contract to be Given in Signing Bonus: "In case I, you know, start sucking again"
"Joe is concerned, and I would say understandably so, that he is going to return to being the quarterback he was for the past five years," said Joe Linta, Flacco's agent. "He feels like he stepped in something and that it for some reason stuck to his shoe for a whole month. And now if, or possibly when, he comes out and starts being an average quarterback again, they'll cut him long before he gets anything close to $120 million."
Friends and teammates of Flacco's say he has been stressed out over the contract negotiations, saying things like "I don't know how long I can keep this up," and "I feel like it all might have just been a big fluke," and "honestly, I was just throwing the ball up in the air as far as I could and people were catching it. My own team. Next thing I knew we had a Super Bowl trophy. I think I might be screwed now."
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Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.