Filed Under » NFL

Tom Brady's cellphone lit up early this morning with a series of text message notifications. By the time he removed his silk Prada sleep mask and checked his phone, he had 11 texts from Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning.

"They were all just pictures of him throwing short passes to Wes [Welker]," said Brady. "Little five, six, seven-yard crossing patterns. It was tough to see. What a terrible way to start the day."

Brady's wife, model Gisele Bundchen, said Manning twisting the knife about acquiring the services of his rival's best receiver was even crueler because "Tommy had only been asleep for about an hour. He had been up crying all night about not being able to play with Wesley anymore. I tried to tell him that Wesley is terrible and can't catch, but you know how boys are with their friends."

Each photo Manning sent got more provocative. The first photo was just the quarterback and his new possession receiver shaking hands. The last one was of a 10-yard completion on a crossing pattern in the end zone, both players smiling and shirtless, with the caption: "2013-14 SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!"

"That really hurt Tommy, because he and Wesley always liked to pretend that they won Super Bowls," said Bundchen. "They never did together, of course, but what imaginations!"

Just weeks after winning a Super Bowl and handing Joe Flacco the largest contract in NFL history, the Baltimore Ravens are reportedly shopping their quarterback in hopes he can bring them a haul of players big enough to fill their decimated roster.

"Our offseason obviously hasn't gone exactly as we might have hoped," said general manager Ozzie Newsome, while refusing to comment on the Flacco rumors. "So we have to see what options are out there for us, as we need 53 players to fill a roster and the last time I checked we had six."

The Ravens knew they would lose linebacker Ray Lewis to retirement, but since he danced off the scene the team has also lost its starting center, its best receiver, two additional starting linebackers and a starting safety — with more players expected to jump ship in the coming days.

Bears general manager Phil Emery says he received a call from Newsome this morning offering Flacco, "an elite quarterback," in exchange for "all of your defensive players, Brandon Marshall and your top three picks in this year's draft."