Filed Under » NFL

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs was flagged for emotionally roughing Patriots quarterback Tom Brady yesterday after a hit left the star quarterback feeling upset and unloved.

"I didn't care for that! I didn't care for that one bit!" snapped Brady, stomping his foot as he pulled himself up off the ground. Moments later, official Tom Winter threw a flag, penalizing Suggs and the Ravens for an infraction never before called in organized football.

"The new rules in place make our job very clear as officials," said Winter, explaining his call. "We are to protect the quarterback, especially star quarterbacks, and especially this star quarterback. Brady's injury last year is what prompted all of these rule changes."

Brady says Winter made the right call.

"I don't think people understand how hard it is to be me. I'm coming back from a knee injury, my team is struggling, I have one child out of wedlock, another child on the way, very high-maintenance dogs to take care of, I'm expected to look stylish all the time and I have the stress of physically satisfying a woman millions of men around the world would love a shot at. And then when someone tackles me, well …" he said, tearing up. "It can be very, very hard, okay? It can be very hard on my psyche."

Suggs said he had no intention of emotionally harming Brady, only sacking him and maybe creating a turnover.

"I wasn't trying to emotionally rough the guy," said Suggs. "Physically harming him would have been awesome, but all that touchy-feely emotional crap is what's killing football. I just wanted to maim the guy."

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says he will examine the emotionally roughing the quarterback call and evaluate how it should be called in the future.

"I know this is a tough judgment call for our officials," said Goodell. "And I don't want to make their job any tougher than it is already. So I think what we'll probably do is have Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Eli Manning all have the power to call this penalty themselves when they feel they have been emotionally harmed. That's the only way to accomplish the true goal and spirit of the new rules we put in place."

WINNERS

1. Bill Belichick— Not only did his team beat a quality Ravens squad, but Belichick was the only head coach in the league who didn't appear to wear something pink — a hat, a ribbon, shoes, etc. — to mark the NFL's Breast Cancer Awareness initiative. I always suspected Belichick is pro-cancer, but now this proves it. Sure, it's an abhorrent stance for a person to take. But I admire Belichick's courage in taking it. And, who knows, maybe I don't know the whole story. Perhaps he is very active in fighting cancer. I wouldn't be surprised to hear he regularly gives breast exams to suburban MILFs.

2. Rashard Mendenhall— A week ago he was benched for not knowing his playbook. This week he was forced into action due to an injury to Willie Parker and rushed for 165 yards and two touchdowns. I can't say if he knows the plays now or just ran well through the wrong holes.

3. Detroit Lions — Wasn't last week such an amazing rush of excitement and celebration? Way to keep it special. Winning more will only cheapen the experience. But if you keep playing like you did this week, you may get to cherish that memory for the rest of the year. Oh, by the way: you play the Steelers this Sunday. You won't beat them. So don't even try. Instead, maybe cancel practice this week and do some scrapbooking. Record those memories before you forget the details.

4. Evolution— After reviewing a catch made by Mike Sims-Walker of the Jaguars in the end zone yesterday, the referee ruled it was a touchdown because Sims-Walker "got three feet down." Impressive. It wasn't long ago that receivers like Santonio Holmes were just sprouting third legs, and now they're big enough they can use them to run. What's next? Penis hands?

5. Eli Manning — Manning left yesterday's game with a heel injury. But it's not serious. And you know what injuries mean, don't you? Band-Aids! SpongeBob Band-Aids! And a trip to the ice cream shop with mom and dad for a clown sundae to make the boo-boo tears go bye-byes. Yay!

LOSERS

1. People with cancer other than breast — If you would like the NFL's support in your fight, you should really consider letting the cancer spread to your breasts. Think about it.

2. Logic — The Baltimore Ravens were not happy with the officiating in New England. Said safety Ed Reed on a 4th-and-1 try in which Ravens RB Willis McGahee was stopped short: "When Willis had his fourth-down try, it probably wouldn't have been a first [down], but it probably should have been a little closer." Why must you rob the Ravens of quarter-yards of no consequence, officials? Do you have no shame? What if Willis McGahee finishes the season with 999.75 yards? That will be on you, refs.

3. Rich Gannon — As the Cincinnati Bengals were driving for the winning score in overtime, CBS game "analyst" Rich Gannon warned them not to score too quickly lest they leave time on the clock for the Browns to score. Ha! What an idiot. Did you see how Gannon messed up there? He suggested the Browns could score! What a moron. (Also, NFL overtime is sudden death.)

4. Mark Sanchez — He looked in over his head yesterday against the Saints with four turnovers, two of which were returned or recovered for touchdowns. It was also a bad day for Jets fans, whose erections fell incomplete and were returned to their pants.

5. Tom Brady — Your former fellow team captain, Rodney Harrison, told you on national television to "take off the skirt." This is why someone as famous as you must be careful who you trust. You never should have told Harrison that Gisele makes you play dress up.

1:00 p.m. ET

Detroit at Chicago (-10)

Congratulations, Chicago — you didn't get the Olympics, but you are getting the Detroit Lions. Not a bad trade really.

My pick: Chicago

Oakland at Houston (-8.5)

Stop staring, JaMarcus Russell. It's rude. Also, the defensive back read your eyes and intercepted your pass a good 30 seconds ago. You have to get off the field. Come on. Play is resuming.

My pick: Houston

Tampa Bay at Washington (-7.5)

What a tough stretch of the schedule for the Redskins. No, not that they've had the Rams, Lions and Buccaneers right in a row. Of course not. That's easy. I mean that their schedule includes the Redskins every week but they are the only team in the league who never gets to play them. That's too bad. Because the Redskins suck most of all. I bet even the Redskins could give him a game. Wait. Now I'm starting to get confused.

My pick: Washington

Seattle at Indianapolis (-10.5)

Matt Hasselbeck is back for the Seahawks this week. Last Sunday he was out with acute not-wanting-to-look-like-a-buffoon-by-wearing-those-ridiculous-jerseys.

My pick: Indianapolis

New York Giants at Kansas City (+8.5)

Every report I've seen this week about the Chiefs trading Tyler Thigpen to the Dolphins says that in return they received "an undisclosed 2010 draft pick." Not true. While the specific pick isn't yet known, the player will be terrible because he will have been drafted by the Chiefs. Steal by the Dolphins.

My pick: New York Giants

Baltimore at New England (-1.5)

This will be an interesting game to gauge two teams I don't think are as good as their records. Although, if they're both not as good as their records, I'm not going to learn anything from this game will I? Oh, well. I guess I'll just watch this game for entertainment purposes and hope they both lose.

My pick: New England

Cincinnati at Cleveland (+6)

The Bengals upset the Steelers last week giving Ben Roethlisberger his first-ever loss in Ohio. Interestingly, the Browns have never won in Ohio. Too bad they're based there.

My pick: Cincinnati

Tennessee at Jacksonville (+3)

Everyone wants to know what's wrong with the Titans. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh-ooh! Pick me! Pick me! Yes, I just wanted to say that they were never all that good in the first place. Okay, thanks for calling on me. Feel free to continue with your lesson.

My pick: Jacksonville (and to win)

4:05 p.m. ET

Buffalo at Miami (+1)

Since Dan Marino retired after the 1999 season, the Dolphins starting quarterbacks have been Jay Fiedler (5 years), A.J. Feeley (1 year), Gus Frerotte (1 year), Joey Harrington (1 year), Cleo Lemon (1 year) and Chad Pennington (1 year). And now it's Chad Henne's job. What does this tell us? That five different quarterbacks have failed to fill Jay Fiedler's shoes. Wow.

My pick: Miami (and to win)

New York Jets at New Orleans (-7)

This trip to New Orleans is going to get a bit awkward when love-struck members of the New York media start asking Rex Ryan to show them his tits.

My pick: New York Jets

Dallas at Denver (+3)

Josh McDaniels has silenced his critics. Apparently his critics weren't smart enough to look at the Broncos' schedule and see that they opened with the Bengals, Browns and Raiders. Do your research, critics!

My pick: Dallas

St. Louis at San Francisco (-9.5)

Before we all jump on San Francisco's bandwagon, let's remember that their quarterback is still Shaun Hill. Plus, this is San Francisco. That's not a bandwagon. It's a Gay Pride float.

My pick: San Francisco

8:20 p.m. ET

San Diego at Pittsburgh (-6.5)

In the past week, Steelers 2008 2nd Round draft pick Limas Sweed dropped a game-winning touchdown pass and was benched. And 2008 1st Round draft pick Rashard Mendenhall was benched for not knowing any plays or his assignments. This is part of the reason why players love playing for Mike Tomlin so much. None of his crappy draft picks will ever take your job.

My pick: San Diego

Monday night

Green Bay at Minnesota (-3)

We are the person in the wood chipper. Brett Favre is the tall guy. And Aaron Rodgers can be Frances McDormand.

Discuss.

My pick: Minnesota

Byes: Arizona, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Carolina

I don't know what caused this bull to try to kill Junior Seau.

Maybe he doesn't like the Patriots. Understandable.

Maybe he doesn't like players who can't stay retired. Also understandable. (Although I'd prefer Brett Favre be the target of a nice goring over Seau.)

Or maybe he just hates extremely dated hairstyles. Also understandable.

And if that's the case, Derek Jeter should be taking a horn through the torso any day now. (Don't get excited, A-Rod. A fade with frosted tips isn't exactly the most current 'do either. You've got a goring coming, too.)

From SportsPickle's wire services.

Terrell Owens, dickhead extraordinaire, feels like he's being provoked.

The washed-up Buffalo wide receiver,a day after offering mostly terse answers to probing, insightful and respectful questions posed by renowned sporting journalists following the Bills' 27-7 loss to the New Orleans Saints, told the "Two Live Stews" on Sporting News Radio that the media is trying to get him to stir things up in Buffalo, as he did in Dallas and Philadelphia.

"It really just shows you the angle that the media has taken all these years," Owens said stupidly during the interview, unable to get on a better show than something on Sporting News Radio. "OnSunday, as you saw, the media took the initiative to try to get me to kind of go down the wrong path. I know the last two teams that I've been on, I felt like I left those teams prematurely due to media interviews that I've done and things kind of taken out of context and they created sort of a media whirlwind in the locker room and things kind of went downhill from there. I'm just trying to do the best job I can do as far as answering the questions and trying to be a better teammate and not try to throw people under the bus."

Owens went on and on from there — blah, blah, blah, blah — but it was pretty boring and self-serving, which is not at all surprising coming from this ass. Plus, if he wasn't going to speak ill of his teammates, why listen to him?

During his news conference on Sunday after the Bills loss — in which his streak of 185 consecutive games with a reception was snapped (Ha-ha!) — Owens was repeatedly asked about his lack of involvement in the team's offense.

"Just going with the plays that are called," Owens unfortunately replied repeatedly to those questions. "Whether I like them or don't, I'm just going with the plays that are called."

He admitted some frustration with the lack of pass attempts downfield but he sidestepped a question about whether the Bills and quarterback Trent Edwards is looking enough to the team's top receivers, making us wonder why we are sending a bunch of reporters up to the hellhole of Buffalo if this guy isn't going to say stuff that will make headlines.

"No, I don't want to answer that," Owens said Sunday. "I don't want to answer that, because whatever I say you guys are going to turn it to however you want to say it."

What a queer.

Associated Press reporters Matthew Carlyle, Bob Tefford and Marsha Lynch contributed to this report, and all of them agree that Terrell Owens is a total pussy who isn't man enough to say what's really on his mind. Prove us wrong, Terrell. The ball is in your court. (Don't drop it like you normally do, loser! HA!)

ADD: Vernon Davis, TE, 49ers — Davis was viewed as a bit of a project when San Francisco selected him with the No. 6 overall pick in the 2006 NFL Draft. It appears that project may finally be nearing completion. Davis, now a team captain on the 49ers, had 7 catches for 96 yards and 2 TDs Sunday against the Vikings. Pick him up now before numbers like that become the norm.I have a feeling Vernon Davis is about to explode.

While before he only got two-second cameos in videos by the likes of Ron Artest. (Fast-forward to 1:25. And don't blink) …

… soon he may earn himself three or even four-second cameos in the videos of more accomplished rappers. Like, say … Shaquille O'Neal.

Or, who knows, maybe Ron Artest will devote an entire song to him, a la his ode to Michael Jackson:

Vernon, Vernon, Vernon you my fantasy tight end

They running you on a fly

Vernon I know that you'll catch it, know that you'll score it

I try to win. I try to win, I try to win, I try to win.

Every center in football has one job: snap the ball cleanly to his quarterback and then pick up his blocking assignment. But Carolina Panthers center Ryan Kalil says he has decided he has a more important role on the team.

"I am the only one who can keep the ball out of Jake Delhomme's hands," says Kalil. "And if we can keep the ball out of Jake Delhomme's hands, this team can be successful."

Delhomme had six turnovers in Carolina's home playoff loss last January to the Arizona Cardinals. He then turned the ball over five more times in Carolina's opener this season — and has had three more interceptions in two additional losses as Carolina has fallen to 0-3.

"Maybe they're not all Jake's fault," said Kalil. "But all I know is that I snap the ball to him, block for a second or two, look up and the other team has the ball. I mean, there's a pretty consistent element to all of these turnovers: me giving the ball to Jake Delhomme."

And it's a fact that has been tearing Kalil apart inside.

"I know people who have struggled with addiction," he says. "More often than not, they got to where they are because someone along the way enabled them. I am enabling Jake by snapping him the ball. If I stop doing that, he can get better. And we can win again. I am glad I have finally come to this realization. The power is in my hands."

While it will be on Kalil to follow through on his pledge to keep the ball away from his quarterback, he says he has a full network of support to fall back on.

"Other guys on the teams have been encouraging me to do this for weeks," he says. "Years even, when it comes to Steve Smith."

Head coach John Fox is also on-board with the plan, and thinks it will have positive results.

"Sure, we are going to get constant delay of game penalties," he said. "And that's not ideal. But I'll take being backed way up on my own side of the field over throwing interceptions that are returned for six points. I'll choose that every day. It's not even a hard decision."