The NFL Draft is tonight. Why not make it more of an event than just watching a bunch of guys have their names called?
Play NFL Draft BINGO! All the cool kids are doing it.
Here are the rules:
1. If you don't know how to play bingo, I'm not sure how you figured out how to access the Internet.
My god. I wish this was a joke. But you know that new throwing motion of Tim Tebow's? Well, it was doing well at first. But I guess like an organ transplant, after a while it didn't take and now it's it's just it's horrible. Just horrible.
NFL Commissioner RogerGoodellheld a press conference Wednesday to reiterate his strict stance on violations of the NFL conduct policy, adding emphasis on making sure players do not "get caught up in dumbass fucked up bullshit."
After recent incidents involving NFL players Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, and Antonio Cromartie,Goodellsaid he felt it was important to remind the league about possible suspensions and even expulsions for involvement in behavior that could be construed as "ridiculously stupid," "fucking mindless," and "just straight up dumb."
"As a member of the NFL, you are held to a higher standard and expected to conduct yourself in a way that is responsible and represents the league in positive way," saidGoodell. "Don't be a fucking moron. Use your goddamn brain."
Goodellcontinued by adding that no action by a member of the NFL should make people shake their heads in disgust, slap their foreheads, or want to call their local sports radio show to go on a swear-filled rant.
Despite recent allegations, a report from CBS Sportssays arrests, major citations, meat-headed fuck-ups for NFL players are down by nearly 50-percent in the past year compared to the year beforeGoodellimplemented his policy in April 2007.
According to the report, 28% of player arrests are DUIs, 22% involves fighting and disorderly conduct, and the other 50% are the stupidest fucking bullshit that even a two-year-old would know not to do.
When asked to address the sexual assault allegations against Ben Roethlisberger,Goodellsaid, "The issue is [Roethlisberger] has had a pattern of poor behavior, and I will take it into consideration when deciding on a punishment. Every player in the league, every coach, and every associate most be held accountable in upholding these standards."
AddedGoodell: "Just doing be a fucking twat, okay?"
The casualties are still being tallied from an early-morning attack on the New York Jets' draft war room, but at least 25 scouts and personnel staff members are dead, and the team's draft plans are in tatters.
"It's complete chaos down there," said NFL Network draft analyst Mike Mayock. "There are bodies and blood everywhere. Limbs blown off. People screaming. They don't know even know if they want to pick Jared Odrick or Terrence Cody anymore. They could draft a running back."
Survivors say the attack likely would have killed many more, but scores of employees dived behind head coach Rex Ryan and were protected from the blast. No group has taken credit for the attack, but it is presumed that the New England Patriots are responsible.
With the draft just around the corner, the team is desperately trying to pull together in time to bring in another strong class. Ryan picked through the still smoldering war room this afternoon, looking for scouting tapes and player profiles that could be salvaged.
"Goddammit!" he yelled, kicking aside a severed arm still clutching a clipboard. "Where's our file on Jahvid Best?"
The team says it will wait to bury, or even recover, the bodies of its dead until after the three-day draft is over. The families of the fallen understand.
"It's what Pete would have wanted," said Cheryl McClintock, wife of the team's chief Big Ten scout, Pete McClintock. "The attack is in the past. These draft picks are the future. He loved football so much, which is why me and the kids only saw him a week or two out of the year. I know his dying wish would have been to still hold the draft. And also to draft Jared Odrick. That kid has a great motor."
According to personnel sources with several teams, Texas linebacker Marcell Pinkins is plummeting down draft boards just days before the NFL Draft over reports that he was involved in a death incident this weekend.
"Marcell was a tweener to begin with," said one team source. "We thought he was a little small for a linebacker, but not fast enough for safety. And from what we've heard from this weekend, he's only going to be slower and lighter."
Pinkins passed away Saturday night in a one vehicle crash on I-20 east of Dallas when he lost control of his Toyota Corolla and hit a tree. The two-time All-Big 12 linebacker was pronounced dead at the scene.
The player's agent, Drew Rosenhaus, dismisses reports that Pinkins' stock is dropping.
"You hear this sort of thing as the draft approaches every year," said Rosenhaus. "It's misinformation from teams so other teams don't know what they're planning. It's nothing but misinformation."
Rosenhaus said the only true part of the reports are that Pinkins is dead.
"Yes. Very dead," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow. I'll be there. As will his whole family. Marcell has a good family and good people around him. NFL teams can't discount that."
While many teams are souring on the deceased player, others say he remains a good pick.
"Teams always put too much stock in the measurables 40 time, vertical leap, a pulse," said an Eagles representative. "But if you put the tape on from last season, Pinkins is a great football player. His lack of biological life doesn't change that."
Jerry Jones says the Cowboys will carefully consider Pinkins.
"Sure, dying hurts him," said Jones. "It's bad timing to die just days before the draft. But he is still on our draft board. He's right above Tim Tebow."
There is a perception that Roger Goodell hands out suspensions and fines in a completely arbitrary manner, as though he just pulls penalties out of a hat or throws darts at a suspension dartboard.
But that's absurd! Only a moron would do that! And we know a moron could never become the commissioner of a major professional sports league.
The truth is that Goodell has a very specific decision-making process that he uses to determine possible player suspensions. It's this flowchart.
Take a look.
After demolishing Texas Stadium in front of crowd of thousands of cheering spectators, the demolition crew was so inspired by the passion and enthusiasm of the fans that they hastily rigged up explosives to the nearby $1.15 billion dollarCowboysStadium and imploded that as well.
"As far as implosions go, this was a huge success," said a giddy demolition crew chief Gerald Hearst, who struggled to hold back his happiness. "Usually we just blow up one thing and leave. But the crowd really wanted it this time. It felt like I was in a band and the crowd was demanding an encore."
A crowd of 20,000 gathered to witness the destruction, many of whom drove from Irving to Arlington to see the second explosion, calling more friends to join them along the way.
CowboysStadium, the now former home of the DallasCowboys, opened in 2009 and theCowboysplayed there until the end of the 2009 season, including one post-season apperance. It was a piece of Texas football history, playing host to such momentous events as theCowboys' 37-21 victory over the Falcons in Week 5 of last season and theCowboys' 38-17 victory over the Seahawks in Week 6 of last season.
"I wasn't expecting it to be so emotional," Harold Keynes, an onlooker and lifetimeCowboysfan, said to reporters. "And I definitely wasn't expecting them to blow up two stadiums in a row."
Added Keynes: "I'm really glad they did, though. It was awesome."
Thousands of pounds of dynamite were used in the initial explosion, and another several thousands of pounds that reportedly just happened to be lying around were also used in the second explosion.
"Seeing Texas Stadium go was like saying goodbye to an old friend," formerCowboyscheerleader Cindy Grainger told reporters. "SeeingCowboysStadium go was like saying goodbye to that kid in your class who you never really knew to but you always thought you'd get along if you did actually talk to each other."
"Yeah! Fk the Cowboys!" said an Eagles fan who was in Dallas on business. "This is the greatest day of my life!"
Following the two major blasts, the demolition crew salvaged enough pounds of dynamite to blow up other arenas in Texas, including American Airlines Center, Minute Maid Park, whatever it's called where the Houston Texans play, and the Alamo.
Nike stuck with Tiger Woods during his troubles. And he got a redemption ad. Now the sports apparel giant has announced it's sticking with Ben Roethlisberger, too. Here is Ben's new Nike ad. (VIDEO)
The NFL Draft is almost here. While scouts will break down every little thing about each player how fast he runs, how high he jumps, how he conducts himself in an interview they should not forget to mine the valuable football information that comes from photos.
Today SportsPickle presents the photo scouting report on:Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma.