Picture If Jared Allen could put this on his jersey, he probably would
Wait. Why does this guy love T.O.? T.O. plays for the Bengals.
News NFL Owners Show Solidarity By Holding Up Briefcases Full of Cash
NFL owners plan to counter the players' show of union solidarity, in which the players held up one finger before Sunday's games, with their own show of solidarity before this week's games.
Team owners have signed off on a plan to hold one stainless steel briefcase full of $100 bills out the window of their luxury boxes before kickoff on Sunday. All 32 owners have agreed to the plan, although several have tasked assistants or servants with actually holding the briefcase out of the luxury box window.
Video Clear eyes, full hearts, can't ... AAAAAHHHHH.
This workout gets your abs and your neck.
Opinion 5 Tips For Treating An Attractive Female Reporter Right ... An Athlete's Guide
It's a tricky situation. So keep these tips in mind.
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1. Do NOT stare at her breasts when she is interviewing you
Yes, they sure are nice ones. And your impressive height not only helped you get where you are as an athlete, but it also allows you to fully enjoy her cleavage; it's hard not to take advantage of that. Yet you still shouldn't stare at her breasts. She may find it offensive. Also, by staring at her breasts, you're missing out on that ass. BOOM! Shake that thing, girl!
News Matthew Stafford and His Shoulder Announce Trial Separation
Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, has announced he is separating with his shoulder of 22 years, the right one.
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"It's a very painful time right now," said Stafford. "But we're wanting different things. I want to stay together, but it clearly doesn't want to."
Opinion 6 Common Breeds of Stadium Vendors
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#1 — The Oldtimer
He's the first guy you see as you walk into the concourse. Relegated to a stool, selling programs and scorecards, his yellowed, foggy eyes have witnessed every team championship of the last half century. While his mouth might not say much, his stooped posture, trembling hands, and withered cheeks all seem to say the same thing: I haven't pooped in a week.
Likely a veteran of war and a vestige of American perseverance, his dignity seems a little compromised when a little kid in an oversized jersey points at him and says, Daddy, is that a troll? Semper fi, Oldtimer.
Opinion NFL Week 1: Winners and Losers
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Winners
1. Wes Welker — Take a look at this friggin' guy. While Randy Moss showed up to the postgame press conference to complain about his contract, Welker — off of a blown-out knee and 2 TDs — decided to show up in a sixpence cap and play the part of a turn-of-the-century Irish immigrant scrapper. The only way he could pander more to Boston fans would be to star in the next Ben Affleck Boston-is-so-wicked-hahd-yet-awesome movie. Or just call Randy Moss lazy.
September 10, 2010 Column
Handicapper
NFL Week 1
Handicapper runs every Friday on SportsPickle during the NFL season. Or, you know, sometimes on Thursday, apparently.
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1:00 p.m. ET
Carolina at New York Giants (-7)
The Giants are playing the first regular season game at the Meadowlands and their fans want a win. Although a loss will probably be fine as long as a lot of Springsteen and Jovi is played during the game.
My pick: New York Giants
News Jaguars Hoping New Vampire Quarterback Will Get Them Some Fans
The Jacksonville Jaguars passed over local legend Tim Tebow in the NFL Draft, but they have signed a new player they hope will finally get some fans in the stands at Jacksonville Municipial Stadium: a real vampire.
"Vampires are the biggest thing going right now," said Jaguars general manager Gene Smith. "My daughter talks constantly about Twilight and True Blood and all those shows. Some people says it's just because she's unattractive and unpopular, but so what. We'll take any fans we can get."
