Filed Under » NFL

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning spent all day playing yesterday after getting the all-clear from doctors that his injured neck has healed.

“Anyone who knows Peyton or watches his commercials or has seen him do ‘Saturday Night Live’ knows that he’s just a kid at heart,” said Olivia Manning, Peyton’s mother. “So not being allowed to play these last months has really been hard on him. There’s only so many times a boy can watch ‘Transformers’ and ‘Iron Man.’”

After receiving a call from the doctor who had most recently checked his neck confirming his health, Peyton yelled out: “WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and immediately dropped the phone and ran into his backyard. He did a series of cartwheels, then went up and down his sliding board, enjoyed his swing for a few minutes, flew a kite, kicked a kickball around and then spent several minutes in his sandbox.

Olivia Manning said Peyton continued playing well into the evening when it got dark and she called him in for dinner.

New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning says he is enjoying his time in Indianapolis in the lead up to Super Bowl XLVI, but has found the “quality of whores here to be quite lacking.”

Despite his humble, aw-shucks reputation, Manning admitted to media members on Wednesday that he has a “bit of a soft spot for hookers. Everyone has a vice. Mine is paying women for sex. I don’t feel a need to apologize for it. If anyone should apologize, it’s the City of Indianapolis for the low-level ass they’re putting out there.”

Eli said he began dabbling in the sex business at an early age.

“My brothers were older than me, so they had girlfriends before I did,” he said. “But I wanted to be as big as them. And when you’re in middle school in the early ’90s, the only way to get sex was to pay for it.”

Manning says he doesn’t usually have discriminating tastes when it comes to night-walkers — “fat ones, skinny ones, toothless, trannies, orgies, I don’t care. But I expected there to be some better quality options here for the biggest event in sports. You know, some high-end escort types. It’s disappointing, but I’ll try not to let it impact my play on the field.”