Parents of football players at Steubenville High School in Steubenville, Ohio, have decided to register their complaints with school board about head coach Robert O’Malley giving his son, the team’s starting quarterback, preferential treatment.
“This has gone far enough,” said one outraged parent. “Not only is his son the starting quarterback, but he lets him live at his house, too? Oh, what – you win three straight Big School Player of the Year Awards and you can live with the coach, have him pay for your meals? This has to be some sort of violation.”
Another parent says he has seen O’Malley drive his son to practice numerous times.
“All we’re asking for is some fairness,” said the parent. “My son has never gotten valet service by the head coach. I mean, sure, we’ve all enjoyed winning state championships with his son at quarterback, but I’m sure my son could set a state record for touchdown passes, too, if only he was given the chance. But, no – the coach has him banished to backup punter.”
Some parents say they are disappointed to see that high school sports remain full of favoritism.
“It was the same way back when I was in high school,” said one parent. “I got cut from the basketball team simply because the coach was friends with the parents of some of the other kids. He tried to say it was only because I was 40-pounds overweight, unable to grasp basic basketball fundamentals and had a club foot. But I know the real reason. The way I see it, that man cost me millions of dollars in future earnings as a pro.”
The Steubenville school board president says he will look into the charges of preferential treatment towards the coach’s son and will continue in his quest to rid the district of petty, personal politics.
“Petty, personal politics have no place at a school,” he said. “Except when it comes to the school board election. That’s actually the only way to get elected.”
August 7, 2009 Column
Tweet of the Week
Tweet of the Week
From @str8edgeracer AKA Texas Rangers closer C.J. Wilson
Our reporter spent the day at Buffalo Bills training camp in Pittsford, NY. Here are his notes.
> So far, Terrell Owens has nothing negative to say about Trent Edwards. He also doesn’t know Trent Edwards’ name.
> In the hot summer sun, Dick Jauron exudes a strong smell of leather.
> The Bills are considering moving their training camp from Pittsford, as their players are too tempted by the fast-paced lifestyle the town provides in comparison to Buffalo.
> First round draft pick Aaron Maybin appears a little wet behind the ears. He should really dry off better when getting out of the shower. If soap suds dry back there the skin behind his ear lobes will crack. I had that happen to me a few times. Hurts!
> I’m not ashamed to say that slot receiver Josh Reed looks good in a pair of mesh shorts.
> I have a hunch about something about the Bills this year. Not sure what it is. Or is it a who? Could also be a when, I guess.
Orlando Magic forward Rashard Lewis tested positive for an elevated testosterone level. Now the NBA has brought the hammer down, announcing the athletic, three-point marksmen will have all of his home runs cleared from the NBA record book.
"The public must know that the NBA takes this very seriously," said commissioner David Stern. "We will not have our record book or the proud history of this game be sullied by those who break the rules. If only baseball had been as proactive and forthright from the start."
Lewis, who played an integral role in helping the Magic upset Lebron James' Cleveland Cavaliers last year in the Eastern Conference Finals, tested positive late last season and then again during the Finals.
"Thankfully, the outcome of the season is in no way tainted," said Stern, "because Rashard didn't hit any home runs during the playoffs. I'll admit that we dodged a bullet there."
Stern stressed that fans can rest assured that the NBA and the outcomes of its games have never been in any way compromised.
"We have internal security mechanisms in place that are the best in professional sports," said Stern. "That's why we have only had one rogue ref and one PED user. Ever. End of story. So, anyway, did you guys hear what Jose Canseco said the other day about a baseball Hall of Famer being on steroids? Wow. Baseball has some problems."
Lewis hopes fans can forgive him.
"Luckily I play in the NBA so I'll probably never hear anything about this," he said. "But I'm not going to attend any major league baseball games for a while. I don't want to get booed."
August 6, 2009 Column
Stuff You Might Have Heard
Twitter outage allows Stephon Marbury time see his psychiatrist
A denial of service attack on the social networking site Twitter allowed NBA free agent guard Stephon Marbury some free time to see his psychiatrist for the first time since opening a Twitter account. The former All-Star, who posts as @StarburyMarbury, had been canceling all of his appointments to tweet or hold court on Ustream for hours on end. "The Twitter outage couldn't have come at a better time for Stephon," said his psychiatrist, Dr. Gerald Pheister. "He was pretty close to falling apart." After his appointment, Marbury spent the remainder of his day yelling Bible verses from a street corner and researching insane asylums with WiFi.
The Big East football media day was held this week in New York. Was Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow a unanimous selection to the all-conference team?
Let's take a look at how each coach voted.
Brian Kelly, Cincinnati: Tim Tebow, Florida
Randy Edsall, Connecticutt: Tim Tebow, Florida
Steve Kragthorpe, Louisville: Tim Tebow, Florida
Dave Wannstedt, Pitt: Tim Tebow, Florida
Greg Schiano, Rutgers: Tim Tebow, Florida
Jim Leavitt, South Florida: Tim Tebow, Florida
Doug Marrone, Syracuse: Bill Stull, Pitt
Bill Stewart, West Virginia: Tim Tebow, Florida
WHAT?! This doesn't make any sense! One of them voted for Bill Stull??? That guy is horrible. I demand a full explanation.
Lance Armstrong showed he can still win a bike race this morning by taking the Tour de Luxembourg in 36 minutes, 18 seconds.
"It was really more of a short training run," said the seven-time Tour de France winner, "that happened to have a small part of it go through the width of Luxembourg. But if I get a trophy for it cool!"
While Alberto Contador, Armstrong's new rival, did not participate in the Tour de Luxembourg, Armstrong did defeat his friend, Greg, who decided to join him on the early morning ride.
"I am proud to have finished second in my first international cycling race," said Greg. "And, to think, I probably could have won if I hadn't stopped to take a drink a few yards before what was apparently the finish line."
While the Tour de Luxembourg did not exist at the outset of Armstrong's ride, it was quickly formed after the country's tourism bureau got a tip that the famous cyclist was riding through on his way to somewhere else.
"We thought making his ride into a Tour race would be great publicity for the country," said Luxembourg prime minister Jean-Claude Juncker, of the hastily arranged event. "Right now when most people think of Luxembourg, they only think of well, I actually have no idea what they think of. I'm drawing a blank myself. I actually live 11 months out of the year in France."
As Armstrong was about to speed through Luxembourg's border with Belgium, he was stopped by Juncker and presented with a plate for his win.
"It was an actual plate from my office," said the prime minister. "Plastic. My secretary uses it for her lunch. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to get anything else. He was only here for 36 minutes."
Armstrong says his latest victory is an important one.
"I hope this can be an inspiration to people all across the world," said Armstrong. "Of course, winning the Tour de Luxembourg probably isn't enough to inspire someone to beat cancer. But maybe it can inspire people to, I don't know get a suspicious mole checked or something like that."
NFL training camps open with six starting quarterback jobs up for grabs.
Here is a look at each position battle and what each player brings to the table.
>> Cleveland Browns
PRO: Has been successful as a starter before, going 10-5 in 2007 with 3,787 yards and 29 touchdowns.
CON: His numbers dropped precipitously last year. Although to be fair, his numbers were actually dropped by Braylon Edwards.
PRO: Proved he was a great leader at Notre Dame. Plus, his popped collar only adds to that. It makes him appear regal. Almost like royalty.
CON: Opposing defenses have a tendency to read his eyes. Mainly because they can't take their gaze off of them.
>> Detroit Lions
PRO: Has put up big numbers and won games in the past before his knee injuries.
CON: Lost of mobility means- did he just get sacked in a drill without a defense? My God.
PRO: Most scouts rate him a can't-miss.
CON: Most scouts rated Joey Harrington a can't-miss.
>> Minnesota Vikings
PRO: Is not Brett Favre.
CON: Is not Brett Favre.
PRO: Is not Brett Favre.
CON: Is not Brett Favre.
>> New York Jets
PRO: Despite his last name and the fact that his first name starts with a K, he's not related to that dickwad Roger Clemens.
CON: Perhaps not coincidentally, he also can't throw anywhere near as well as Roger Clemens. (But as an addendum to his PRO: he's also not on steroids. So that's nice.)
PRO: Has experience running a pro-style offense and playing under the pressures of a pro-style contract.
CON: He has never played a game in the snow. (And he may never. Please recycle!)
>> San Francisco 49ers
PRO: Is a solid game manager.
CON: He manages to lose. A lot.
PRO: Tied a career high in touchdowns last season and has been a consistent contributor since coming into the league.
CON: Unfortunately, that's Alex Smith the tight end. Alex Smith the quarterback is a pile of crap.
>> Tampa Bay Buccaneers
PRO: He rewrote the record books at Kansas State.
CON: I'm just quoting that from something I read elsewhere. I seriously doubt Kansas State has record books.
PRO: Gets his whole team involved. Usually by having them carry him up and down the field when he gets hurt.
CON: Questionable decision making. (He turned down a contract from the reigning Super Bowl champions to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!)
PRO: Is not Cade McCown or Josh McCown.
CON: Is Luke McCown.
August 5, 2009 Column
Stuff You Might Have Heard
Giants save cap money by signing Eli Manning to $97.5 million deal in arcade tokens
The New York Giants locked up quarterback Eli Manning today with a $97.5 million contract that will keep him in a Giants uniform for six more years. The figure will count zero actual dollars against the salary cap, however, as Manning requested the entire amount be paid in arcade tokens. Giants general manager Jerry Reese said he credits the ingenious maneuver to Manning. "He took one for the team," said Reese. "We wanted to pay him in money, but he insisted on arcade tokens. And he wanted his signing bonus in those paper tickets you use to buy stuff at the arcade counter. He says he's had his eye on a big sand toy they have way up high on the top shelf. He's been tricking out his sandbox." Manning says he is excited to remain a Giant: "Wheeeeeee!"
PHILLIP WAYNE GRANGER
RENO, NEV. > Competitive Eating
Granger, 32, set a world record last week by consuming five humans he had murdered in and around the Reno area. The serial killing cannibal is still at large and authorities request any tips that could lead to his apprehension. Granger is considered very dangerous and, if he avoids apprehension, a serious threat to Joey Chesnut and Takeru Kobayashi or anyone else who looks delicious.