Dodgers Entire 2014 Season Already Completed in Australia

Due to questionable scheduling, the Los Angeles Dodgers played the final game of their 2014 regular season in Sydney, Australia last night, bringing their season record to an impressive ... Continue Reading →
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MLB Mandates 15th Century Battle Armor for Pitcher Safety

Following Aroldis Chapman’s horrific line drive to the face and another incident with pitcher Matt Moore, Major League Baseball has taken steps to improve pitcher’s safety ... Continue Reading →

NFL Owners Unanimously Vote to Make More Money by Any Means Necessary

The NFL owners meetings continued today in Orlando, but not before the league’s 32 owners voted to make themselves more money by any means possible. “Before we voted on ... Continue Reading →

NFL Bans Excessive Fan Celebration

The NFL announced today that excessive fan celebration is no longer allowed, and will result in penalties against a fan’s favorite team if it occurs. “We strive to have ... Continue Reading →

Eagles Give Nick Foles Vote of Confidence by Signing Mark Sanchez as His Backup QB

The Philadelphia Eagles sent a message to Nick Foles today that they see him as the clear No. 1 quarterback on the roster for this season and beyond by signing noted suckwad QB Mark ... Continue Reading →
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Warren Buffett Offers Consolation $30 to Anyone Who Correctly Picks Two Final Four Teams

Multi-billionaire financier Warren Buffett’s offer of $1 billion to anyone who correctly picked every game in the 2014 NCAA Tournament didn’t even make it through the second ... Continue Reading →

BREAKING: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahahahahahaha Duke Lost to Mercer

Despite being a No. 3 seed in the 2014 NCAA Tournament, the Duke Blue Devils lost in the Round of 64 to No. 14 seed Mercer University, a tiny university in Macon, Georgia, that AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahahahahahahahahahah. Sorry. Where ... Continue Reading →

Report: NCAA Investigating Bruce Pearl for 38 NCAA Violations at Auburn

New Auburn head basketball coach Bruce Pearl is being investigated by the NCAA for more than three dozen violations committed by his program in Pearl’s first 24 hours on the job. Pearl ... Continue Reading →
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Jim Nantz asks CBS intern if “They Gators done!” would be a hip reference if Florida wins NCAA title

CBS broadcaster Jim Nantz will begin calling his 24th NCAA Tournament for the network this week and is busy preparing for the three-week tournament, researching teams, talking to players ... Continue Reading →

Duke Out of NCAA Tournament After Getting Vasectomies

The Duke Blue Devils have announced that the team must pull out of the 2014 NCAA Tournament after the entire roster decided to time vasectomies with the opening days of the tournament. “They’re ... Continue Reading →

Guy You Haven’t Talked to Since Fantasy Football Season Asks if You Want to be in His NCAA Tourney Pool

Your friend who you haven’t heard from since fantasy football season asked you today to sign up for his NCAA Tournament pool. “Friend? Is he my friend? I’m not sure,” ... Continue Reading →

Aaron Hernandez Asks Bristol County Jail to be Released or Traded

Bristol County (Mass.) Jail inmate Aaron Hernandez today asked the facility to release him so he can pursue opportunities away from prison. “Free agency is really heating up, ... Continue Reading →
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Report: Free Agents Your Favorite Team Lost Were Never That Good Anyway

According to reports from your friends, the players your favorite team has lost so far in free agency were never really that good anyway and your team is probably better without them. “I ... Continue Reading →