Praises were to Allah most high today when Iranian Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threw out the ceremonial first stone at Hafezleh Stadium where the Bargh Shiraz achieved victory over the Shensa Arak.
The infidel recipient of the stone, a woman who winked at a man that was not her husband, was most grateful that her head was the target of her esteemed leader’s disdain.
“Awesome! This is just what I’ve always wanted!” she is reported to have exclaimed.
Ahmadinejad, who generally prefers to stone in private, decided to make the appearance after seeing Barack Obama throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener in April.
“At least I hit my target, unlike that American heretic poopy-poop dog leader who totally missed the catcher by, like, half a mile, even though he is of a race that normally succeeds at such matters,” said Ahmadinejad at a postgame press conference.
After throwing out the stone, Ahmadinejad posed for pictures with the team captains, and later signed the Kalashnikovs of several lucky children. The stoning, which was carried out at halftime, was an encouragement to all the faithful in attendance.
From our Iranian news wire.