"I hate football now," said President Barack Obama to Alabama head coach Nick Saban after the game on a congratulatory phone call. "Congratulations, but you may have ruined the sport for a generation."
In more than eight quarters of play over two games, the two best teams in the country combined for one total touchdown and 10 field goals. While the games were marked by outstanding defense, they equally featured horrific quarterback play and terrible play-calling.
"By the end of the game, I even started to wish I had picked another sport," said star Alabama running back Trent Richardson. "I hear baseball is boring? But this boring? I can't imagine that's possible."
While Nielsen ratings opened strong in the first hour of the game, they dropped off precipitously in the final three quarters. By game's end, the only viewers were the game producer in ESPN's truck and two old men in Alabama who had fallen asleep in front of their television.
"I really hope we can try for a repeat next year," said Saban. "That is, unless college football is cancelled. That wouldn't surprise me at all."