Our perfect hero is not perfect. Our emperor has no eyes.
Yes, it has been confirmed: Tim Tebow is nearsighted. So where does this leave us?
Well, the world is a horrible, dark place full of misery, death and hopelessness. The one god-like person we thought could save us all — our supposed messiah, Tim Tebow — can't even see who he's throwing to on a fly pattern. #!@#!
So we're all doomed. And we're all going to die. Horribly and painfully. And probably sooner rather than later.
On the bright side, if you're one of the poverty-stricken boys Tebow circumcised in Indonesia last summer, chances are his nearsightedness makes it likely he didn't mutilate your junk too bad. So that's a check in the plus category.
