The 2010 NCAA Tournament begins the day after St. Patrick's Day.
May as well just keep drinking, no? Here you go …
>>> Take a Sip of Beer Every Time …
… Gus Johnson suffers a coronary … you hear a "Cinderella" reference … John Calipari commits an NCAA infraction … one of your friends says he's better than a women's player … Jon Scheyer makes that face where you want to punch him … the camera finds a player’s MILF-y mother in the crowd … the camera finds Ashley Judd during a Kentucky game … the camera finds Rick Pitino nailing some woman on the scorer's table … Greg Gumbel gains weight during the commercial break …
>>> Take a Shot Every Time …
… Gus Johnson suffers a stroke …CBS shows that Bryce Drew highlight from the 1998 NCAA Tournament …one of your friends says he's better than Luke Harangody … Duke gets a favorable call … the camera finds a player's ugly mother in the crowd …a Jim Nantz pun makes you groan …Greg Gumbel is caught eating a sandwich upon a return from commercial …
>>> Chug Your Beer Every Time …
… Gus Johnson suffers a brain aneurysm … Bryce Drew delivers a pizza to your house … you hear a "Cinderella" reference, but it's about the '80s metal band of the same name … one of your friends says he's better than John Wall … the camera finds a player's father in the crowd, and you think he's kind of cute … the camera finds Wynonna Judd during a Kentucky game … you find a Jim Nantz comment clever … Greg Gumbel is caught using his bracket as a bib upon a return from commercial …
>>> Drink a Whole Keg If …
… Gus Johnson makes a subtle and measured comment befitting the game situation, allowing the players to shine over his his own unquenchable desire for attention … the pain is getting bad from the vasectomy you elected to have to get time off from work to watch basketball … Bryce Drew is willing to stick around to party … you are a North Carolina, Arizona, UCLA or UConn fan … one of your friends says he's had better than Ashley Judd … Greg Gumbel is caught eating Bryant Gumbel upon a return from commercial … Duke wins the national championship.
