"NCAA rules clearly state that if a student wants more toppings then the student must pay for it themselves. I guess some people think the rules don't apply to them," said Johnson and Wales President Mark Hilton.
Among the terms of the probation, the NCAA has announced that, hypothetically, if the school had a football program and, also hypothetically, if the football team gave out scholarships, then they would lose three per season over the next three years, hypothetically speaking. It must also vacate all wins from the tennis and rugby teams' 2-11 and 1-14 seasons, respectively, in 2010.
No athletes will be suspended, as it was determined that the extra bacon was applied without their knowledge. The investigation revolved around one dining hall employee, who has since been identified as Sandra Carlson, a 68 year-old Providence native who has been working at the dining hall for almost 20 years.
Carlson told officials that she provided the students with extra bacon because they were very polite and reminded her of her grandchildren. The NCAA lauded the school's decision to suspend Carlson indefinitely and without pay, and will launch a separate investigation as to whether Carlson could be charged with any criminal activities.
"It's time we make an example out of a program and I think Johnson and Wales, is it? Johnson and Wales is the perfect opportunity," said NCAA president Mark Emmert. "I think Mrs. Carlson should have to spend her remaining years in Rhode Island's toughest and least bucolic prison."

