While it was previously believed that high-velocity impacts were the leading cause of concussions in football, a recent study released by the league's Head, Neck, and Spine Injury committee described a starkly different reality.
"More than 98-percent of concussions and traumatic brain injuries sustained during games are a direct result of players striking one another with comically over-sized mallets," the report read.
"The consequences of the brutal mallet strikes are immediately evident, as players are compacted into an accordion shape and often hold up wooden signs with the lone caption 'OUCH.'"
The announcement comes at a crucial time in labor disputes and is expected to void the possibility of a lockout during the 2011 season.
NFLPA representative Drew Brees, who has four times been a victim of concussion by the way of mallet, expressed satisfaction at the rule's passing during a recent press conference.
"It is a tremendous relief to know that mallets will no longer pose a threat to our health," said Brees, before running off camera to catch a fleeing Devin Hester, then colliding with a brick wall painted to resemble a tunnel.