When President George W. Bush gave his State of the Union address in 2004 he spoke out against steroids in baseball. Before President Obama took office, he derided the BCS system. Yet in his State of the Union address on Wednesday night, Obama said nothing about sports. What the?
It was all economy and wars and blah blah blah. What happened to the important stuff?
Supposedly the president didn't want his speech to go longer than 70 minutes, and all the sports stuff got left out. Ridiculous. But here's what was cut:
"We need to invest in steroids research. We are falling behind China, Germany and Russia. We must close the PED gap. [Hold for applause.] The time is now. We cannot falter. We cannot wait. The Winter Olympics, World Cup and Tour de France are right around the corner. [Hold for a congressman to boo France.] The United States must remain on top."
"Agressive steroids development will not only aid our athletes on the field of play, but it can be part of our goal to be energy independent. Picture it: massive, finely-tuned athletes placed in hamster wheels across the country, running, running, running powering schools, hospitals, and libraries. While the ox and horse were the work animals that built this country, the 'roid head will be the beast that takes us into the future." [Hold for applause.]
"And while our steroid freaks will help us, we must help them. That's why I am calling on Congress to pass comprehensive health care reform that will cover bacne, organ failure, premature baldness, head expansion and, of course, testicular shrinkage. Because as it says in the Constitution, our creator endowed us with certain unalienable rights, among them: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Constitutional scholars have debated the meaning of the 'pursuit of happiness' for centuries, but I know we can all agree that it includes regulation-sized nuts." [Hold for applause.]
"And in conclusion, fk the BCS." [Hold for being made king.]