Navy beat Army 17-3 on Saturday, earning their eighth consecutive win in the series. Yet members of the Army football team and the Army itself still maintain that the Navy is incredibly gay.
"Great. Good for them. They beat us at football again," said Army linebacker Jeff LeMasters. "Maybe we would be able to focus more on football if all we had to do was drive people across the ocean so they could do the fighting for us. That would be nice. But not all of us have that luxury."
Army tackle Peter Riley admitted it's embarrassing to lose over and over again "to a bunch of homos." But says that "he took an oath to defend this country and fight for their right to be queers, and wear their fancy, white uniforms all day and spend six months underwater with a bunch of dudes."
Continued Riley: "And I take that oath very seriously, even if I don't agree with their disgusting lifestyle."
U.S. Army General David Petraeus echoed the sentiments of the Black Knight players.
"Don't ask, don't tell and all that," said Gen. Petraeus. "But since you're not officially asking, I can tell you: Navy boys are definitely you know." Petraeus then pranced around his office like a ballerina.
Navy linebacker Curtis McGee agreed that there was definitely some gayness on the field on Saturday.
"I am going to be commissioned into the Marines," said McGee. "It disgusts me to think that these Army boys come in and do the easy fighting after we Marines do the dirty work. I know what they do all day snuggled into their bunkers together. It's sick. But I'll fight for their right to do it."