"I called Orange D'Lights Tanning Emporium and pretended I was coach Shanahan," said Fletcher. "I said I wouldn't be able to make my morning session and asked for one at 1:00 p.m. Then I told Mike that the salon had called the locker room phone to tell him his appointment was changed."
Now Shanahan must decide between Washington's game against a division rival or a crucial winter tanning session.
"It really isn't a tough decision," said Shanahan. "Maybe if we were still in the playoff hunt I might have to put some thought into it. But I can't miss a tanning session in December. It's hard keeping a good leathery brown going in the winter."
With Shanahan likely staying behind in Washington while the team plays in Dallas, the Redskins players plan to have McNabb start over Grossman. The former Bears quarterback does not plan to protest.
"I suck out loud," said Grossman. "I have no interest in embarrassing myself in front of the entire country. The guys are helping me out here."
With Mike Shanahan out of the picture and Grossman on-board with the plan, the Redskins only have to get past offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan to keep McNabb as the starter.
"We haven't thought through that part yet," admitted Fletcher. "Maybe we should just punch him in the face. All in favor?"
The measure passed unanimously.