Joan McPhail, a 48-year-old divorcee, has been living for some time in the basement of her son David, a professional sports blogger, according to published reports.
“I had fallen on some real hard times of late, man” she said.“I had been laid off from my job as a nurse, but thankfully, David was there to offer me a foldout couch down in his cellar.There’s also a ping pong table, and an extra computer for me to use, which is cool.”
However, David McPhail told reporters he is not exactly pleased with the arrangement.“She said she’d only be here until she got back on her feet.That was a YEAR ago.A freaking year.This isn’t a hotel.”
Joan McPhail, who often asks her son for money and subsists mainly on a diet of pizza rolls and Tato Skins, defended her extended stay in her son’s basement.“He knows I’m good for it.I’m working on something really big.You’ll see.When this thing I’ve got cooking hits, we’re all gonna be living in mansions.”
“She’s been saying that for months now,” said David.“Yet I constantly go down to the basement and she’s playing Call of Duty 2.I found weed in the couch yesterday.I just wish she had a bit more direction in life.That’s all.Look at me!I got a job.I work 9-to-5 for Football Outsiders and FOX.I made something of myself.You don’t see me lying around wasting my life.”
However, Joan McPhail counters that David shouldn’t be so hard on his own mother.“I’m his flesh and blood.I don’t see what the big deal is.He’s Mr. Big Shot Blog Guy, with this big house and all this food.What does he care if I chill for a bit?I just wish he’d get off my back.”
She then rolled her eyes.“I’m telling you, when I get into this glass blowing school next month, David will see that I haven’t been wasting my life.You watch.”