Scene: The Packers bench. Moments before kickoff. The offensive linemen sit together.
LG Daryn Colledge: Wow, guys. Brett Favre. Playing against us. I can't believe it's really happening!
RT Allen Barbre: I know. I thought he'd be a Packer for life. We had some great times with ol' Brett, didn't we?
LT Chad Clifton: We sure did. Real good times. He used to mow me lawn for me, you know?
Colledge: Mine, too!
Barbre: Mine, too.
C Jason Spitz: Same with me! You know what I liked most about Brett? He was gentle. Aaron Rodgers is a good guy, but when he reaches under me for the ball, his hands just shoot right in there, you know? No tenderness. It's all business. And because of it, I have bruises and scrapes all over my grundle. But Brett was delicate and giving. I'll always love him for that.
RG Josh Sitton: I wasn't on the Packers when Brett was here, but I always hear stories about how he'd have really quick drives — a long touchdown pass or a fast interception.
Clifton: Oh, that's definitely true.
Colledge: Oh, yeah. Almost every drive was like that. On the field, off the field.
Sitton: I'm sorry I missed that. I'm a big fat guy. These long, sustained drives that Aaron Rodgers does really takes it out of me.
Barbre: I hear that. I could use more interceptions. I've been getting winded two or three times a quarter. It's no way to live.
Clifton: You know, guys — as the senior member of this unit, I have an idea. I think we should show Brett tonight how much he meant to us.
Spitz: How so? Like a card or something?
Clifton: No, that's too easy. Something more meaningful. What does Brett Favre want more than anything?
Barbre: Painkillers?
Clifton: Good guess. But no.
Sitton: Painkillers available over the counter?
Clifton: Even better guess. No, I'm thinking about winning his first game against the Packers.
Spitz: Oh, right. Of course.
Clifton: So let's give it to him. I say we let Aaron get sacked all night.
Colledge: Okay, I'm in. But won't that be obvious that we're doing it on purpose?
Clifton: Well, we have to pick a number that seems realistic. We can't overdo it.
Sitton: How about nine sacks?
Spitz: That's too high. No one would ever believe a line full of professional football players could give up nine sacks in one game. Be reasonable.
Clifton: How about eight then?
Sitton: Eight sacks and painkillers.
Clifton: Perfect!
Barbre: Okay, I'm in.
RB Ryan Grant: (walks up) What are you guys talking about?
Clifton: Letting Aaron get sacked all night as a thank you to Brett.
Grant: Cool, I'm in. What can I do?
Clifton: How about when we let someone through, you never pick up the blitz?
Grant: Got it.
QB Aaron Rodgers: (walks up) Hey, guys — it's our ball. Let's go take the field! What are you guys all talking about over here — last-minute adjustments?
Clifton: Oh, nothing.
Spitz: Aaron, I've been meaning to ask you, could you be gentler on my taint when reaching under me for the snap?
Rodgers: Sure thing, buddy. But right now we've got a game to win! Let's work on that first thing tomorrow, okay?
Spitz: Okay … if you're still alive then.
Rodgers: What was that?
Spitz: I didn't say anything.
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