Salvatore DiGuilio, a Yankees season ticket holder who sits two rows behind you, expressed shock and dismay today that your son has never heard the word c—t before.
“Really?Seriously?” asked a bewildered DiGuilio.“What is that kid, six?How could he not know what a c—t is?It’s the first thing you learn after you find out what a d—k is.Hey Vinny, can you believe this pr—k’s kid doesn’t know what a c—t is?”
The self-proclaimed “die-hard” Yankee fan scoffed at your notion that c—t is a vulgar word not to be used in front of a child after Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira makes a simple groundout to second to end the fourth inning.
“Please, I use that f—king word around my little s—t kid all the time,” he explained.“That’s the f—king language of the real world.What, are you trying to make your son a p-y?A p-y little ft?Because that’s what’s he gonna grow up to be.”
But Dr. Harry Edwards, professor of sports psychology at the University of Southern California, disagrees with DiGuilio’s claims.
“Contrary to what many inebriated Yankee fans believe, learning crude terms for female genitalia at an early age does not prevent homosexuality, nor does it result in any long-term passive behavior.In fact, studies show learning terms such as c—t before the age of six can lead to problems with anger AND future substance abuse issues.Of course, this means you’ll fit in perfectly with Yankee fans.They’re all complete a—holes.”
DiGuilio refuted Edwards’ notion, saying, “Maybe he’s a c—t, too.”
Yankees officials said they have received several complaints from you in the past few months with regards to DiGuilio’s behavior.So far, the team has had no official response, though a Yankees Stadium security guard did tell you to, “keep your little c—t kid in his seat for ‘God Bless America,’ or I will throw your c—t a—out of this facility.”
DiGuilio has a long history of uttering disgusting, inappropriate words around you and your children.Three months ago, he drunkenly challenged you to fight after spilling beer on your son and calling him a little c—ksucker.DiGuilio claims to have no recollection of the incident.
“Bottom line, I think you’re full of s—t,” says DiGuilio.“That kid has totally heard that word before.Probably at school.I’ve said it around him.Vinny’s said it around him.This whole section says the word c—t every five minutes.And if you don’t like it, you can get the f—k out of this town.
“C—t,” he added.