Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Tiger Woods hits on Elin Nordegren moments after divorce is finalized

"Damn girl, you single? You look FINE," said Tiger Woods to his ex-wife Elin Nordegren seconds after their divorce was finalized on Monday. He then told her he would "definitely hit that" and invited her to lunch at a nearby Perkins — "or, as I like to call it, F—king Friendly's, if you know what I mean." Nordegren declined and excused herself to go pick up their kids at a babysitter. Woods said the moments after the divorce was finalized were the first time he's been attracted to Nordegren in years. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't be married," said Woods. "Although, I'd marry that hot piece of ass if it was the only way I could GET WITH IT! Oh, jeez. I have a very serious problem, don't I?"