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Philadelphia fans outraged that toddler appears to be drinking a Light beer

June 9, 2010

Residents of Philadelphia have taken to the streets and airwaves in outrage after video surfaced of a toddler drinking from a beer bottle at a Phillies game. A bottle which, by all accounts, was a light beer.“I’m shocked,” said Philly resident John Ganter, “what kind of parent lets their infant child start off with such a pussy drink like that? I mean what planet are these people living on?”Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter echoed Ganter’s sentiments, adding, “Even if it was intended to be a joke, drinking a light beer is simply not something you joke about in today’s world. What’s the point? To cut carbs? He’s f—king 3 years-old, for chrissake!”The father of the boy could not be reached for comment, but through a written statement issued an apology: “It was a momentary act of indiscretion on my part to allow my child to even be handling a light beer, and to get it into his head in any way that drinking a light beer is acceptable. I’m truly sorry. That shit tastes like water, and I should have known better.” Local officials say they will not charge the father as long as he makes his son smoke an entire pack of menthol cigarettes.


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