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Cardinals hitting coach Mark McGwire hoping to teach Cardinals PH Mark McGwire how to hit

New St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach Mark McGwire may have found his toughest student. Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa informed McGwire today that he would like to have McGwire pinch hit for the team. "Tony's the boss, but I'm not too big on this idea," said McGwire. "I know McGwire's swing. It's full of holes. He strikes out constantly and he hits for a terrible average. And without the steroids, he has no power anymore. Trust me, I've worked with his swing before and it's hopeless." LaRussa admits he came up with the idea last night when he was wine drunk. "Merlot," he said. "Delicious merlot. And a bottle of pinot noir, too. Then some scotch."