Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Jimmie Johnson's car named AP Athlete of the Year

Jimmie Johnson's 750hp Chevrolet Impala SS was named Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press today, becoming the first car to win the award, and besting Roger Federer, Usain Bolt, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Albert Pujols, and Jimmie Johnson. The car did not comment on the award, but Johnson said he was honored to even receive votes. "To be mentioned in the same sentence as my car — wow, there are no words," he said. "I pretty much sit there and push its gas pedal all the way down. I'm not sure what I did to get my votes. I guess it's being in a fast car and not being fat. Hey, I'll take it."