Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Clinton Portis asks his friend to hook him up with that blue girl in "Avatar"

Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis has asked his friend and personal assistant Bryon to get him the number of that "blue chick with the freckles" in the new movie "Avatar." "I like those big, pretty, yellow eyes," said Portis. "I like them a lot. And I've never done it with a blue girl before." Bryon tried to explain to Portis that the the "blue chick with the freckles" was a character created by special effects, before quickly giving up. "Special effects? Not real? I heard she's 3-D. That's real enough to do," said Portis. Bryon plans to work around the character's lack of existence to keep his friend happy: "Random girls ask me all the time to set them up with Clinton. I'll just paint one of them blue. Problem solved."