Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Locker room health care debate only the dumbest thing ever

Several Tennessee Titans became involved in a heated debate about health care following the team's win on Sunday, yet failed to come to a consensus on the controversial issue. "I heard that squirrels are covered under the plan that the governor of America wants," said one player. "That's not true," countered another. "But the government can come take our big muscles and give them to illegal aliens." "Wow. Is that because aliens don't have muscles?" asked a special teams player. "I got drunk and had sex with an alien in college," offered another. "I think." Head coach Jeff Fisher said his team should not be judged on their difficulty grasping the complex issue. "To be honest, it was smarter than much of what I've heard on cable news," he said.