While sports hernias are becoming increasingly common among athletes, many orthopedists claim another common hernia – the marching band hernia – is being drastically underreported.“The cool kids get sports hernias. But no kids want to get marching band hernias,” said Dr. Michael Bentley. “And if they do get them, they won’t go to the doctor to get them fixed. So they’ll walk around in pain — pain further aggravated by the atomic wedgies they receive with great regularity in their day-to-day lives.”Many marching band hernias are caused by the lifting of heavy instruments such as the tuba, while other marching band hernias come simply from the soft, muscle-free abdominal walls of the music geeks simply giving way from actions as tame as breathing or not kissing the opposite sex.“While marching band hernias are very unpopular among kids, they are actually seen as much cooler than glee club hernias,” said Dr. Bentley. “I refuse to treat kids with glee club hernias. If they are seen entering my practice, none of the cool sports hernia kids will ever come back.”
