Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Woman claims Ben Roethlisberger crashed his motorcycle into her vagina

A Las Vegas hotel attendant claims Pittsburgh Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger crashed his motorcycle into her vagina last summer while the quarterback was staying at Harrah's. Roethlisberger's attorney issued a statement on the civil charges of sexual assault: "The fact that there is no criminal investigation speaks volumes, in addition to the fact that this woman waited a year to make her claims. Also, the part about his motorcycle crashing into her vagina seems very suspect. Very. I have seen Ben's motorcycle. Unless this woman has an inordinately large vagina … and it would have to be HUGE, it's just … this story is crap, okay? Ben is very respectful to women and an accomplished rider and he would never crash his motorcycle into a woman's vagina."