"Only Aaron Sorkin could make tackling people this pretentious," wrote the New York Times.
"No one talks like this. Thankfully. Because it's incredibly annoying," read the Variety review.
"Usually Sorkin has weak female characters, but now he doesn't have any. This isn't surprising at all," the LA Times stated.
"This shit fking sucks. I'm turning it off," wrote thousands of people on Twitter.
Despite the criticism, Sorkin said he stands by "Hard Knocks" 100-percent.
"Anytime people are talking this much about a show, you know it has struck a nerve," he said. "This is a story America needs to hear, a story that ," he continued on and on, failing miserably in his attempt to not sound like smug prick.
The debut episode featured a scene in which Dolphins quarterback David Garrard bounced a pass at the feet of receiver Chad Johnson in a 7-on-7 drill, prompting Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin to launch into a long monologue about how the incompletion was a metaphor for America's failure to keep sports in its proper perspective. The next scene dealt with the personal relationships of the players and was somehow even more annoying and uninteresting.
Sorkin, who wrote the screenplay for "The Social Network" and was the creator of "The West Wing," also created "Sports Night" and developed the screenplay for "Moneyball" making "Hard Knocks" his return to sports.
"'Sports Night' and 'Moneyball' both had a lot of positive feedback from audiences," said Sorkin. "But that's not my goal. My goal is for audiences to come away thinking: 'Wow. That Aaron Sorkin is so much smarter than me. I am so stupid and clueless about everything compared to Aaron Sorkin, but thankfully he blesses us with subtle glimpses of truth via his exquisitely written dramas.' I'm hoping that comes across more in this Dolphins show. People need to understand how special I am."