"I want my regular seat on the floor for whatever it is the hockey team is doing. Stanley's cups," Nicholson told a ticket window operator at the Staples Center this morning.
"I'm sorry, sir. But your seat would be on the ice at a hockey game. They're not available," Nicholson was told.
"What? There's ice? Goddamit. Let me speak to Jerry Buss immediately! I want my seats!" screamed the actor.
Nicholson was then informed that Buss is not the owner of the Kings, which prompted him to run his hands through his hair and make angry and exasperated facial expressions for more than 10 minutes. He was then led away by Staples Center security.
Minutes after the Nicholson incident, Clippers fan Billy Crystal attempted to purchase tickets by performing an elaborate Broadway number about the history of hockey in Los Angeles. The ticket window operator pulled down her window blind until he gave up and left.
Actor Jerry Ferrara, of "Entourage" fame, later came by to buy Kings' tickets for the Stanley Cup Finals, but was informed they are sold out.
"They're not sold out," said the ticket window operator after Ferrara left. "I just hate Jerry Ferrara."