"I was shopping for headbands yesterday and I wasn't finding any that were big enough for, you know, what I'm looking for a headband to do," said James. "And then I had a revelation: What if my dad was one of those turban-wearing people? So I called my mom to find out. It went to voice mail, so I took that as a confirmation that he was."
After a quick Google search on his iPhone, James discovered that "those turban-wearing people" are primarily Indians who practice the Sikh religion.
"So that's what I am an Indian Sikh," said James. "It actually sounds kind of cool. Although I would happily be a regular old American Indian, too. A headdress would also work really well to uh absorb sweat from my head."
It is believed that James is the first NBA player with an Indian ancestry. He could also become the first Sikh in league history.
"I haven't converted yet. I'm still learning about the religion," he said. "The Wikipedia page on it was much longer than I expected and I'm not through the whole thing yet. I just want to make sure first that Sikhs don't have a problem with throwing yourself lavish birthday parties in every NBA city in the country. Because I really like doing that. But even if they do, I'm still definitely wearing a big turban on the court. You know, for my dad."
Following his discussion with reporters, James was overheard praying in the Heat trainers' room.
"Oh, Sikh god or gods, however it is that you do it," he said. "I pray to you guys, or ladies, or possibly animals, I guess, whatever. Anyway, I ask that you use your great Sikhy powers to grow back my hair. Giving me, a world famous person, a youthful hairline would prove your existence to the world. I pray this in Sikh's Jesus equivalent's name, amen."