Fantasy football team names have grown stale. Again.
This happens every few years. When fantasy sports first went mainstream, team names were pretty generic. You’d use your name and get something like Jim’s All-Stars. Or you’d combine your hometown with your favorite team: The Bridgeport Cowboys.
Once that got old, everyone tried funny. Andy Reid’s Love Handles. Ray-Ray’s Dance Brigade. Some were funny. Most weren’t.
Then funny quickly segued into attempts at being offensive. And that’s where we are today. So this season you’ll have teams in your league with names like Big Ben’s Broken TV and Donte Stallworth’s Roadkill. But here’s the thing about offensive: it gets tired fast. I mean, when I was 11-years-old and another kid would use the F-word, it would wow me. Now? Not so much.
But where does that leave us? We still need to name our fantasy teams.
It’s time for something new. It’s time for fantasy team naming to evolve again. It’s time we come up with names that will really rattle the other team owners in your league.
As offensive as Donte Stallworth’s Roadkill may be, how is that helping you win your fantasy league? Unless Donte Stallworth is in your league and it’s putting him off his game, it’s not.
You need to rattle the other people in your league. Target the guy you think is your biggest threat to the title and think of a secret you know about him. Or something embarrassing. Then … use it for your team name.
Chances are your 2009 fantasy football team will have a name something like this …
Steve Has Halitosis
Ask Bob About His Pending Bankruptcy
Derek Has Low Sperm Count
Stop Asking Me To Swingers Parties, Jeff
OxyconTIM
Mrs. Thompson: Fat and Infertile
How’s Your Gay Son, Will?
1 Ron + 2 Beers = 3 Hours Of Racism
Greg’s Wife? Fingered Her In High School
Greg’s Mom? Fingered Her In High School
Greg? Fingered Him In High School
No One Wants You In The League, Ray
