Lance Armstrong showed he can still win a bike race this morning by taking the Tour de Luxembourg in 36 minutes, 18 seconds.
"It was really more of a short training run," said the seven-time Tour de France winner, "that happened to have a small part of it go through the width of Luxembourg. But if I get a trophy for it cool!"
While Alberto Contador, Armstrong's new rival, did not participate in the Tour de Luxembourg, Armstrong did defeat his friend, Greg, who decided to join him on the early morning ride.
"I am proud to have finished second in my first international cycling race," said Greg. "And, to think, I probably could have won if I hadn't stopped to take a drink a few yards before what was apparently the finish line."
While the Tour de Luxembourg did not exist at the outset of Armstrong's ride, it was quickly formed after the country's tourism bureau got a tip that the famous cyclist was riding through on his way to somewhere else.
"We thought making his ride into a Tour race would be great publicity for the country," said Luxembourg prime minister Jean-Claude Juncker, of the hastily arranged event. "Right now when most people think of Luxembourg, they only think of well, I actually have no idea what they think of. I'm drawing a blank myself. I actually live 11 months out of the year in France."
As Armstrong was about to speed through Luxembourg's border with Belgium, he was stopped by Juncker and presented with a plate for his win.
"It was an actual plate from my office," said the prime minister. "Plastic. My secretary uses it for her lunch. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to get anything else. He was only here for 36 minutes."
Armstrong says his latest victory is an important one.
"I hope this can be an inspiration to people all across the world," said Armstrong. "Of course, winning the Tour de Luxembourg probably isn't enough to inspire someone to beat cancer. But maybe it can inspire people to, I don't know get a suspicious mole checked or something like that."