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Penguins Stage Big 3rd Period Comeback After Reading Mean Tweets About Themselves During Intermission

The Pittsburgh Penguins roared back from a two-goal deficit in the third period last night to beat the Columbus Blue Jackets and take a 2-1 lead in their best-of-seven first round series. ... Continue Reading →
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Cleveland Indians Hoping to Draw Fans with New Bacon-Wrapped, Deep-Fried Outfielder

The Cleveland Indians have debuted a new player the organization hopes will boost the organization’s stagnant attendance, a bacon-wrapped outfielder that can run, catch and hit ... Continue Reading →
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St. Louis Blues to Hold Playoff Switch-Flipping Ceremony Wednesday at Noon

The St. Louis Blues have scheduled a special playoff switch-flipping ceremony for Wednesday under the St. Louis Arch at 12 p.m. CT. Featuring a giant novelty switch that will be pushed ... Continue Reading →
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Joe Mauer Kind of Hurt That Pitchers Only Throw to Him on Pickoff Attempts Now

Minnesota Twins first baseman Joe Mauer made a permanent position switch before the season. But while the move from catcher will likely extend Mauer’s career by keeping him healthy, ... Continue Reading →
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CBS Panicking After Their Tiger Woods Impersonator Shoots 43-Over 115 at Masters

CBS Sports executives are huddling in a meeting room at Augusta National, discussing how to proceed with broadcasting the Masters tournament after the Tiger Woods impersonator they ... Continue Reading →
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Drake Schedules Emergency Photo Op with 1st Place, 5-2 Miami Marlins

Canadian recording artist Drake is currently on a flight to Washington, D.C., to meet the Miami Marlins and take photographs with the team before their series with the Nationals begins. ... Continue Reading →
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68 Teams Show Up to Play In NCAA Title Game Blasting “I’m the Man” on Their Beats by Dre Headphones

Mass chaos has erupted before tonight’s NCAA Tournament title game, as all 68 teams who made the Tournament have showed up in Dallas expecting to play for a championship. “We ... Continue Reading →
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Report: NFL Teams Worried Johnny Manziel’s Love of Drake Suggests Serious Judgment Issues

Johnny Manziel’s outstanding performance at his pro day answered many of the concerns teams had about his playing ability, but reports suggest NFL franchises remain very worried ... Continue Reading →
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Astros Present Derek Jeter with Retirement Gift of Miss Texas

Derek Jeter’s farewell tour kicked off in full force in Houston last night as the Astros presented the retiring shortstop with cowboys boots, a Stetson hat, golf clubs and Miss ... Continue Reading →
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Brewers Fans Apologize for Ryan Braun Ovation: “We realize now we’ve made some mistakes”

Milwaukee Brewers season ticket holder Bob Douglas, flanked by a dozen other fans representing the entire Brewers fan base, stepped to the microphone today outside Miller Park, cleared ... Continue Reading →
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Kentucky Fires John Calipari After Discovering Improper Who/Whom Usage on His Résumé

The University of Kentucky announced today that they have fired head basketball coach John Calipari after a review of his résumé uncovered several instances of improper who/whom usage. ... Continue Reading →
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Crips Release DeSean Jackson Over Concern About His Affiliation with Washington Redskins Organization

The Crips street gang announced today they will be releasing DeSean Jackson, amidst rumors of possible ties with one of the most troubled and controversial franchises in the NFL, the ... Continue Reading →
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A.J. McCarron Holds Semi-Pro Day

Former Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron held his semi-pro day today in a vacant lot just off the Alabama campus in Tuscaloosa. As many as seven semi-pro scouts watched McCarron, representing ... Continue Reading →