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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 15

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Roger Goodell Wears “No Indictments” Shirt to Show Solidarity with Authority

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wore a t-shirt with the words “No Indictments” on it to work today to exhibit his unity with authority figures and law enforcement. Continue Reading →
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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 14

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Senile Warren Buffett Offers $1 Billion to Anyone Who Gets Every Game Right in College Football Playoff

Billionaire investor Warren Buffett announced today that he will pay $1 billion to anyone who correctly picks every game in the inaugural college football playoff. Many close to the ... Continue Reading →
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Report: Nebraska’s Bo Pelini Buyout Includes $17.3 Million Accrued in Swear Jar

In addition to the $7.7 million Nebraska owes Bo Pelini for firing him with four years left on his contract, it was reported today that the university also owes the coach the total ... Continue Reading →
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Jameis Winston Accidentally Crushes a Rabbit to Death

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston tragically broke the neck of a rabbit he was petting today. Continue Reading →
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Brian Hoyer to stripper wearing GoPro: “Make it clear to Manziel that I didn’t hire you”

Cleveland Browns quarterback Brian Hoyer may have been benched for Johnny Manziel on Sunday, but he’s not giving up his job for good without a fight. Continue Reading →
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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 13

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10% of America’s Holiday Purchases to Go to NFL as Part of NFL’s “Holidays Awareness Month”

Thanks to an exclusive new deal with the holiday season, the NFL will receive 10-percent of all gift purchases made by Americans between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Continue Reading →
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Virginia Tech Players Horrified to Learn Mascot was Eaten During Team Thanksgiving Meal

Virginia Tech’s football team gathered last night for a team Thanksgiving meal of turkey and stuffing, but the happy event took a dark turn when it was discovered the players ... Continue Reading →
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Report: LeBron May be Fired as Cavs Head Coach

With the Cavaliers continuing to struggle despite their star-studded roster, reports suggest Cleveland head coach LeBron James may soon find himself out of a job. Continue Reading →
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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 12

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Pope Francis Announces U.S. Visit to Meet with “American moral authority” Roger Goodell

Pope Francis confirmed today that he will make his first papal visit to the United States next year, primarily to meet with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and consult with him on ... Continue Reading →
Week11Tease

Honest NFL Headlines: Week 11

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5-Star Football Prospect “Insulted” by Getting Recruiting Letter from Michigan

Mason Landry, the 5-star wide receiver prospect from the Chicago area who is at the top of all the rankings for the 2016 class, says he was “insulted” by receiving a recruiting ... Continue Reading →
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Jets GM Idzik Flies Banner Above NY and NJ That Reads “JETS FANS ARE MORONS”

Embattled New York Jets general manager John Idzik hired a plane to tow a sign above the New York metro area today that read JETS FANS ARE MORONS. The sign is a response to the “FIRE ... Continue Reading →
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Bernard Hopkins: “I hope to get punched in the face well into my 50s”

Bernard Hopkins may be 49 years-old and coming off a decisive loss to 31 year-old Sergey Kovalev, but the boxer says he has no plans to retire or hang up his gloves any time soon. Continue Reading →
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Reports: Everyone Going to Bitch Until There’s a 64-Team College Football Playoff

According to numerous sources, everyone is just going to whine and bitch and moan until the College Football Playoff is expanded to a 64-team tournament. Continue Reading →