Playlist February's Funniest Sports Videos
#1 Is LeBron James better than Michael Jordan was in his prime?
Unfortunately, there is just no way to know this because Michael Jordan's prime fell when LeBron James was a little kid, so they never played against each other.
#2 Is LeBron James a better player than Kobe Bryant?
Similar to Jordan vs. LeBron, Kobe and LeBron's primes didn't exactly match up, but they at least have been able to play during the same era. However, basketball is a team sport, not an individual sport. And how would we agree on what makes a player better. Championships? Statistics? Again, basketball is a team sport and so many other factors come into play. All we know for sure is that both LeBron James and Kobe Bryant are very good basketball players. This speaks to the previous question, as well. Even if Michael Jordan and LeBron James had played against each other, it would likely be impossible to make a clear-cut case that one was better than the other.
#3 Will Tiger Woods break Jack Nicklaus' record for career majors?
The only way to know this is to wait and find out. Woods is currently 37 years old and in very good shape, so we could have the answer in the next 18 months or not for 25 years. Time will determine the answer. It's as simple as that.
Come on. That "British" kid in the Florida Gators sweatshirt is clearly an American spy.
Even in an anonymous poll, Utah residents are morally upright.
They've officially joined the SEC.
Ohio State's Urban Meyer told a story about Woody Hayes over the weekend at an Ohio coaching convention. According to Meyer, in 1986 a retired Hayes attempted to teach Ohio State coaches about toughness by having a turtle bite his penis. Yes. Really. Click HERE for the details.
SportsPickle was able to land an exclusive interview with the turtle.
Let's just get the main question out of the way at the top: Did you bite former Ohio State head football coach Woody Hayes in the penis?
How did you wind up biting a famous coach in the penis before a room full of Ohio State coaches?
My family lived next door to Woody's house. My owner, Kevin, was playing with me out on the porch one day and Woody asked if he could borrow me for something he was doing for work. A couple hours later, I've got my jaws chomped down on his dick.
Why? So he asked you to do that to drive home his point?
Where to start. I was born in Michigan. I'm a Michigan turtle. But around 1984, Kevin's dad got transferred from Ann Arbor to a job down in Columbus. Fine. I'm a turtle. As long as I still get to see the Michigan games on TV from my tank I'm cool living wherever. I had no idea goddam Woody Hayes of all people lived next door to our new house. Next thing I know, I'm getting scooped up and driven somewhere in a dark box. Then the box opens and Woody Hayes and Woody Hayes' penis are staring right at me. I had no idea what he was planning to do, but it didn't really seem like there were a lot of positive outcomes in this situation for me, you know? I basically had two options: attack or run. And turtles aren't the best at running. So I bit his penis with everything I had and just hung on.
What kind of turtle are you?
I'm not a monster, if that's what you mean. I did what any turtle would do in that situation. Especially a Michigan turtle.
No, I just mean: What kind of turtle are you? Like a snapper or a
Oh oh. Box. I'm a box turtle.
1. Jon Gruden
Pro: When any big job opens up, Gruden's name is mentioned. He would definitely bring enthusiasm to the position.
Con: The job might be too much for him. Gruden would no doubt stay up all night watching film of people sinning, trying to come up with game plans to help them overcome it. With more than 7 billion sinners in the world, the quantity of sin tape would be overwhelming. The papacy might burn him out fast.
2. Tim Tebow
Pro: Tebow is one of the world's best known Christians and could soon be forced to look for a new line of work.
Con: Tebow is not Catholic. He is an evangelical Christian. Big difference. However, Tebow might be willing to convert if he is promised to be No. 1 on the Catholic depth chart at the faith's most important position.
3. Todd Graham
Pro: The Arizona State head football coach is always looking for a new and better job and will no doubt at least have his agent acquire about the position. Pope is no doubt a "dream job."
Con: Todd Graham has a black, rotten soul. God probably doesn't want Todd Graham to be his top human pal.
4. Lionel Messi
Pro: The world's best soccer player is a devout Catholic. The Church has seen a dramatic decline in Europe in recent years. Making a football star the pope could get many football-mad Europeans interested in Catholicism again.
Con: Messi would no doubt have to miss many matches in order to do pope stuff. Being robbed of the sport's greatest player in his prime could turn many against the Church. Also, with Messi out of the way, Cristiano Ronaldo becomes the world's best player and no one wants that.