"I know things may look bleak right now," Weis said while addressing his team from a Rascal Scooter, a half-eaten cheesesteak perched atop his bosom. "We're going to lose our last 11 games in a row and our only win came against an FCS team. But trust me, you guys are close if you keep working, stay confident and now this is the most crucial element the administration fires me and gets someone in here who knows what the hell he's doing. Believe."
Weis speaks from experience. Just three years after being canned by Notre Dame for seemingly driving the program into a ditch, the Fighting Irish are undefeated and have secured a spot in the BCS title game.
"I look at that team and have a sense of pride. I built that team," said Weis. "I recruited Manti Te'o and Cierre Wood and Theo Riddick and Tyler Eifert. That was me. Then someone else came in and taught them how to play football because, granted, I don't know a god damn thing about coaching up college players. But where Notre Dame is now? That's what Kansas has the opportunity to do."
Be smart. Understand the people you'll be bandwagoning with.
So much for Southern hospitality.
So a love-hate kind of thing?
Not only are they Bama classy, their mohawk classy.
Picture BCS Cake of Failure
At least they can eat it all to justify their destroyed dreams.
"We felt, as a conference, that the Big Ten name needed an update in light of the changing landscape of our conference and college athletics as a whole," said Delany. "We feel the Big 64 conference name melds the history of the Big Ten with a more forward-looking stance."
The Big Ten is responsible for the upheaval in college sports over the past few years, thanks to its addition of Nebraska in 2010 to the west, giving the conference 12 teams and a conference championship in football. This week it stretched far beyond its eastern borders. Yet Delany bristled at suggestions that the new name tips the Big Ten's hands for plans to expand further to 64 members or beyond.
"I just don't know where people get these ideas," Delany said. "It shows how the media bases so many stories on rumor and wild conjecture."
The former Big Ten conference also announced today that it is opening satellite offices in Florida, California and China, and that it is planning to build a space station on Mars by 2022.
#6 Bob Bowlsby, Big 12
His conference may not be big, but his graying temples show that he's been around long enough to know what he's doing. Comfortable posing semi-naturally at his desk or placing a hat atop his head, Bowlsby could probably fulfill several of your most tame fantasies.
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#5 Larry Scott, Pac-12
Unbuttoned shirts. Laid back. Casual. This is a conference commissioner who is secure in who he is. Stable. With 12 schools and ocean to his West and mountains to his East, he's settled and isn't our there looking for new conquests. This is the kind of commissioner you can take home to mom and dad. Those dimples and adorable baby duck hair mean he's not half-bad to look at either.