You'd think all that time with Chris Brown would have taught her about class.
"Guy, guys. Gather around and listen up," said D'Antoni, squatting down in front of his players while holding his iPhone. "'"Pau, get ur ass on the block and don't move till u get it.' Want to know who said that? Kobe. Kobe said it on Twitter. Now, Pau, get out there and do it, okay?"
D'Antoni then called his team back before player resumed.
"Oh, and guys?" he said. "I forgot. Hashtag: realtalk."
"We received word today that while the nation continues to support the people of Boston, sports fans will begin hating the Red Sox again very soon," said a Red Sox front office source. "While I wish that wasn't the case, I completely understand it. I mean, I supported New York after 9/11 and felt great compassion and heartbreak for everyone there, but I still loved it when they lost the 2001 World Series. The people of New York and what New York City represents is not the same as the Yankees baseball team. Screw the Yankees, right?"
Had the chase for the remaining suspect stretched on for several more days, Boston's teams would likely have received near-unanimous support well into next week, but Friday night's speedy resolution means that support will dissipate over the weekend.
"It's not surprising, especially with the playoffs starting," said Celtics head coach Doc Rivers. "Right or wrong, people move on. Although the one thing we might have going for us is that we're playing the Knicks. A lot of fans hate them, too. We might be the least disagreeable option. At least for a series."
Patriots owner Robert Kraft says he has learned the Patriots were never viewed in a sympathetic light.
"Unlike the other three teams, we are not in season," said Kraft. "So no one ever felt the need to stop hating us. We remain universally loathed outside of New England. It's been business as usual around here."
Deep down you're worried that if the Thunder don't win a title this year, they may only have 8-10 good opportunities left.
- - -
You don't understand how people can think the Spurs are boring. Have they never seen a Gregg Popovich in-game interview?
"My man rg3 you do it i do it. It a bet dog," read part of Bryant's post, written just days after surgery to repair a torn Achilles. "My thrwing arm iz not hurt i just wil b more of a packet qb. never been mor motvated to win Supr bowel."
Bryant then went on to write several hundred barely lucid words about spiders that he claims are living inside his eyelids, saying eyelashes are "jus spider hands sticking out ur face. LOL. No lol: FEAR. I'd fight a bear b4 a damn spidr. Eylid spidrs!!! When u blink its them biting yor eyes."
Several minutes later, Bryant took to Twitter and tried to order a sandwich: "Hello. Turkey on rye plz .. no eyelid spiders on the side .., nEver them."
Tesh is no Yanni.
His team, the Chicago Bulls, shared the city's joy.
"We can't wait to see what he'll rent next. It's been a while," said Bulls general manager Gar Forman. "We're all excited. Maybe he'll start watching Breaking Bad?"
Forman added, "I don't want to speculate, but if the mail gets there fast enough, he could have the new DVD in time for Saturday's game against the Orlando Magic. I think all of us would like to see that."
The 6-foot-3 point guard, who held on to the DVD for several months, has been difficult to pin down recently. Off the record, team officials have said he's been unable to find time to watch the movie while at the same time unable to return it as well.