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Miami Heat superstar Lebron James and his advisors are finalizing details for “The Decision 2,” the follow up to James’ highly-rated July television special in which he announced his decision to leave Cleveland for Miami. But with James’ contract keeping him in Miami through 2016, “The Decision 2” will feature a different kind of choice.

“The haters criticized the first Decision,” said James’ longtime advisor, Maverick Carter. “But no one can deny that it got huge ratings or that it raised millions for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. It would be selfish of us not to have a second episode.”

And this year, James says he plans to announce whether he will play hard for an entire playoff series against the Celtics or quit again partway through.

“I have been thinking long and hard about it and I am honestly not sure yet,” said James. “On one hand, I would love to win a championship. It’s my dream. And I need to not quit to make that happen. But on the other hand, quitting is so easy and natural for me. I don’t think I’ll know for sure until I sit down in front of the cameras.”

From their haggard coach, to their aging star, to their balding, do-everything swing man, the San Antonio Spurs have come to a decision: the franchise is retiring.

“We’ve been around since 1967,” said general manager R.C. Buford. “Almost 45 years. We’ve won 17 division titles, 4 NBA titles — there’s not much more we can accomplish. And, as everyone saw in the playoffs, we don’t have much left.”

The Spurs say they don’t want to be one of those franchises that sticks around too long and becomes a laughingstock.

“Look at teams like the Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions in football,” said Spurs owner Peter Holt. “They were great back in the ’50s, but that was a long time ago and now they’re big jokes. They should have quit years ago. This franchise is too proud to let our accomplishments be ruined like that.”

The Thunder have won their first playoff series since team came to Oklahoma City, but they say they’re not content.

“I’m 22 years-old now,” said star forward Kevin Durant. “I might only be back in the playoffs 13 or 14 more times. We definitely feel the pressure to win it all.”

While Durant and star point guard Russell Westbrook are 22, and starting power forward Serge Ibaka is just 21, many of their teammates are much older. Starting center Kendrick Perkins is 26. Starting shooting guard Thabo Sefolosha is also 26. Sixth man James Harden is also … well, he’s just 21. But he looks much older.

“Kevin and Russell and some of those other guys are fairly young, but I’ll be 30 in four years,” said Sefolosha. “I may only have 10 years left in the league. And I could have less on this team, as it’s likely they’ll soon replace me with someone who is much better than me and 14. So I want to win now.”