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Basketball player Ye Li, the 6'2" wife of 7'6" Rockets centerYaoMing, has given birth to a healthy seven-foot baby girl.

The child was delivered by a team of 95 doctors, nurses, and assistants, as well as a Ford F-150 pickup truck early this morning at the The Woman’s Hospital of Texas in Houston. Li became only the second woman to give birth to baby over 12 pounds, with her child weighing in at 196 pounds, three ounces.

A spokesman for the hospital told reporters that doctors were "extremely proud" and "really f—king tired" after the 288-hour labor.

The newborn, named Xiao Hua or "tiny flower", provideda scare after delivery when she stopped breathing, but she was quickly resuscitated by doctors with the help of a sledgehammer and a leaf blower. Doctors are now confident that baby will survive, especially after she showed signs of strength when she crushed a soda can with just one grip.

"It's a beautiful baby girl," said Dr. Sherene Lassen, chief of the department of obstetrics and gynecology, who cared for the mother since the first trimester. "Just a giant beast of a baby. And we couldn't have done it without the help of the large animal veterinarians from the Houston Zoo."

Though the delivery went better than expected, doctors cautioned the baby might still require assistance with breathing and could face additional problems, including a soft spot on her head the size of a softball, sleeping problems due to college scouts and NBA general managers calling at all hours, and being hungry pretty much 24 hours a day.

Dr. Lassen described the mother, who was admitted to hospital eight weeks before the birth and was conscious during most of the delivery, as "very comfortable". Ye Li remains passed out and was unavailable for comment.

The NFL free agency season kicked off at midnight on Friday without a salary cap and Lebron James has reportedly already received big-money offers from all 32 NFL teams.

"Lebron is our No. 1 priority," said Browns general manager Tom Heckert. "We don't want him to leave Cleveland and we are fortunately not constrained by a salary cap like the Cavaliers or teams in the NBA. We have the first opportunity to get him, and it's our intention to do that. Browns fans have been through too much. We owe them this."

James was an All-Ohio wide receiver at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School in Akron, Ohio, before quitting football after his junior year to focus on basketball. But it's not so much his accomplishments on the field that make him attractive to NFL teams.

"Think about it — Tim Tebow is a good football player and he had a 38.5-inch vertical leap at the combine," said Raiders scout Mike McKinzie. "Lebron can jump even higher than that, so we're basically talking about what would have been a multiple Heisman winner. And who knows how fast he could run the 40. He has really long legs. Maybe 3.5 seconds? Maybe 2.5? Wow."

The Raiders have offered James the largest contract so far — 15 years, $400 million, with all but the final year guaranteed — but James' advisor, Maverick Carter, says the Cavaliers star will look for more than just money.

"Lebron knows the only thing missing on his resume is a ring," said Carter. "He wants to sign with an NFL team that can win a championship. So then he can also sign a basketball contract with the Knicks and lose for a ton of money and not feel bad about it."

On the heels of the news that Lebron James would be switching numbers beginning next season, Memphis Grizzlies forward Rudy Gay has filed the requisite paperwork to change the name on the back of his jersey. As is the case with James's decision, the move is widely speculated to be a marketing ploy.

Despite a high-profile college career at UConn and a productive four-year NBA career, Gay ranked second-to-last in jersey sales last year, with only three being sold: one to a gay Grizzlies fan, one to a Memphis college student who was drunk, and one to Grizzlies equipment manger Scott Fiore who misplaced Gay's real jersey before a game last year against the Sixers.

"It was really embarrassing for me to have to do that," said Fiore. "Not losing his real jersey. That happens from time to time. But going up to our team store and actually purchasing it. I said I wanted a number 22 jersey, just trying to get in and get out without getting noticed. But the sales lady was all like: 'You mean a GAY jersey? Really? A jersey with GAY on it? That's what you want? A GAY one. You want a GAY jersey, is that correct, sir? GAY?' Really loud so everyone could hear."

The NBA league office confirmed that Gay, whose jersey sales rank behind only Warriors reserve swingman Demarcus Longtaint, would be making a switch, but refused to disclose what the new name would be. A source within the Grizzlies organization stated on the condition of anonymity that Gay was deciding between "Pussyslayer", "Thundercock", and the Chinese character for virility.

Gay will unveil his new jersey name at a press conference this Friday, to be held at the Platinum Rose gentlemen's club in downtown Memphis.

In just the latest sign that Lebron James may not be committed to the City of Cleveland for the longterm, and that he is definitely not concerned about pandering to the city's residents, the superstar forward today denounced Cleveland's most famous and revered act: the Steamer.

"That sh-t is disgusting," James told reporters. "No pun intended. I've been here for six years, but sorry — you won't get me near a Cleveland Steamer. I don't mean to offend anyone. But just the thought of it makes me sick. You people make me sick."

James' anti-Cleveland Steamer stance has many Cleveland fans terrified he is gone for good this summer when he becomes a free agent. In the past James has worn a Yankees hat to Cleveland Indians games and was linked to reports of a Nike shoe with the words "I Love New York" on it. Then this week he announced plans to change his number to No. 6 next season. And now this latest and most crushing statement.

"I think Lebron is 100-percent gone," said longtime Cavaliers season ticket holder Mike Blumpkins. "Would Tom Brady say he hates clam chowder or would Derek Jeter say he hates pizza? Would Kobe say he hates movies? Of course not. Those cities are known for those things and here in Cleveland we're known for our Steamers. Lebron knows that and I think he is just taking the first steps to emotionally separate himself from the fans here so he can leave more easily. Why else would he rip our beloved Steamers? They are amazing. They are everything Cleveland is about."

Cavaliers general manager Danny Ferry said he doesn't feel Lebron's statement is anything to panic about, but admitted Cleveland's link to Steamers has hurt the team's ability to lure free agents in the past.

"That's the first thing players ask about when I talk to them about signing here," said Ferry. "They're worried about Steamers, about their prevalence in the city, about whether they'll have to participate. Although to some players it's actually a plus and enables us to sign them below market value."

Ferry stresses that there's no way to know Lebron's true intentions until he becomes a free agent in July.

"It's no use trying to read the tea leaves," he said. "We can't know what will happen. I would just encourage our fans to not panic. To just go on with their normal lives, dumping on their partner's chest. Cleveland Steamers have been here long before Lebron James, and they'll be here long after Lebron James. I know that gives me great peace."

With nearly half his league’s teams reeling from massive operating losses, NBA commissioner David Stern today declared that he would begin charging both players and fans for free throws.

“It’s an unfortunate result of our economic climate,” said Stern.“Right now, many of our teams are simply not generating the kind of revenue needed to preserve competitive balance within the league.”

Stern went on to blame the massive revenue losses on NBA players, whom he said earn a disproportionate amount of money in relation to league grosses, as well as NBA fans, who have declined to watch subpar teams such as the Grizzlies, Nets, Grizzlies, Wizards, and Grizzlies.

“This league was built on fans,” Stern said.“Without their support, we suffer.So really, it’s their fault.”

According to the new rules, any player who is fouled will face a surcharge before stepping to the free throw line (which will now be renamed the throw line).Fees will be based on a percentage of the player’s salary.Players making more will be charged more for the right to shoot two throws.If the player cannot afford the surcharge, the throws will be counted as missed and the fouling team will regain possession.Players such as Kobe Bryant, who is fouled nearly 20 times a game, are expected to lose tens of thousands of dollars per game.

Further, fans in attendance will be charged ten cents apiece for each throw.Fans watching at home will see the surcharge appear added to their cable bill.

Fans around the nation were outraged by the announcement.

“This is a disgrace,” said Knicks fan Mike Chester.“If Dick Bavetta is doing a game, I’ll be flat broke by the halftime.

But Stern defended the new practice.

“These throws have been free for far too long,” said Stern.“We have to diversify our revenue streams, and this is one of the least invasive ways of doing it.”

Stern also announced that Dick Bavetta will now officiate every NBA game in perpetuity.