Picture Shaq's bedtime binky? His penis.
Picture Hilarious High School Photo
He didn't even play basketball in high school.
August 6, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
Tweet of the Week
Picture Shaq's New Nickname
He's finally ready to admit that he's Irish.
Lebron James took out a full-page ad in the Akron Beacon-Journal to thank his hometown for its support over the years.
But a noted marketing and image wiz like Lebron James doesn't do just write things up on a whim. There is much thought and multiple drafts. Here is the first draft of the ad.
Representatives of the Miami Heat have sent a letter to NBA Commissioner David Stern formally requesting that they be allowed to play their entire season on paper, the Associated Press has reported.
In the letter, the Heat front office explain how the sheer amount of effort and money that was put into this off season should exempt them from having to compete in real life this season, because, “any contest involved between the team we have assembled on paper and any other collection of players in the NBA would be both unnecessary and fruitless for the players, the fans, and league as a whole. I mean, come on, have youseenour roster? This is some ‘NBA Live Franchise Mode’ sh*t going on here.”
Team President Pat Riley was adamant in saying that they’re not looking for the easy way out.
“Don’t get me wrong, we still want to play all 82 regular season games," he said. "We just want to play them by matching up each individual player against his opponent of the corresponding position, and then through a mathematical evaluation based on probability, determine who would win the game if we were to actually play, which we don’t want to.”
Commissioner David Stern rejected the Heat’s offer, saying that every team has to play each other in live-action competition, adding “besides, when the lockout happens next year we’ll all be playing on paper anyways.”
While NBA legends Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson have come out to say that they would never have chosen to join forces with other NBA stars to win a title, former Chicago Bulls forward and three-time NBA champion Jud Buechler said today that Lebron James made the right decision by signing with Miami.
"Could I have tried to win one myself?" said Buechler, speaking to no one in particular on the back porch of his house. "Sure. That would have been great. But I tried to do that with the Nets, Spurs and Warriors. And not only did I not win a title, but I often didn't even get in games. That's when I knew I needed to make a move."
Following the 1993-1994 season, Buechler chose not to re-sign with Golden State partly because he wasn't offered a contract, and partly for the opportunity to play with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.
"You know, all respect to Michael, but it's sort of convenient for him to come out and say that he never would have done what Lebron did," said Buechler. "But he already had Scottie on his team. And then I came along, too. It's not like he did it by himself. I averaged 2.7 points per game during our three-peat."
Those mid-90s Bulls teams are regarded among the greatest teams in NBA history, and Buechler's name is listed on the roster.
"I know it is. I check to make sure it's still there regularly," he said. "At the end of the day, careers are measured by championships. Lebron knows that. And I think someday he'll be mentioned in the same sentence as Bill Russell, Magic, Michael, Kobe, and Jud."
Hollywood legend Meryl Streep expressed interest in playing for the Miami Heat today, saying that playing the role of the team's point guard or center would be "the role of a lifetime."
"I have never wanted a part so much in my life," Streep told Entertainment Tonight. "I have two Academy Awards and seven Golden Globes, but winning a ring would be the achievement of my career."
Streep has expressed interest in playing Speedy McCoy, a quick, young and talented point guard, but one who has a lot to prove. She has also pitched Heat president Pat Riley the character of Rodney Thomas, a veteran, world-weary NBA center who just wants to play a role and help his team win.
"I played Julia Child in Julie & Julia," said Streep. "Julia was 6-foot-2 and I pulled that off, so I see no reason why I couldn't do 6-foot-10 Rodney."
An added challenge for Streep is that both of the characters she is interested in are muscled black men, but she feels those challenges can be met with "a good Hollywood trainer and the makeup chair. Or special effects is another option. Jim Cameron got Sigourney [Weaver] to look like a giant, young, blue woman in Avatar. I'm the same age as Sigourney. A tall black man would not be a problem."
Riley said he is considering Weaver for a part on the Heat.
"She is one of the greatest actors of all-time and I am confident she can play any character she puts her mind to," he said. "And, obviously, she's a much better option that someone like Penny Hardaway. I just don't know if we can get her for the right money or if she fits the target market of our team."
Riley is reportedly intrigued by bringing in the "younger, bustier" Lindsay Lohan. "This team will need someone to do the dirty work," said a front office source. "And after doing time, Lindsay should be plenty scrappy and ready to prove herself."