Let's see that play drawn up on the wipe board.
News Dr. James Andrews Unveils Superstar "FrankenAthlete" Made from Athlete Body Parts He's Collected Over the Years
"FrankenAthlete is the most physically perfect being ever created," said Andrews. "No single athlete could ever hope to defeat it."
Andrews has done surgeries during his career on Michael Jordan, Adrian Peterson, Jack Nicklaus, Robert Griffin III, Bo Jackson and countless other great athletes. He says he has combined parts and DNA he removed from all of them to grow FrankenAthlete.
"If any of my past patients have a problem with what I have done, I'd let them know that they agreed to this," said Andrews. "They need to read the fine print on their surgery paperwork a little better."
Any contact to his head could knock loose his precious remaining hairs. Not cool.
Is it the Israel-Palestine thing?
News Streaking Penguins Reportedly Just One Win Away from Getting Acknowledged on Twitter by LeBron James
"I got word tonight that if we win our 14th in a row on Thursday against Winnipeg, LeBron or at least LeBron's marketing rep who posts some of his tweets will tweet: 'Wow. 14 in a row Pengins. Congrats,'" said Pittsburgh head coach Dan Bylsma. "I told the guys and they're obviously thrilled. I just hope they can keep their attention on the ice and don't think ahead to LeBron's tweet."
Pittsburgh general manager Ray Shero has known for days that a LeBron tweet about the Penguins was in the works if the team could keep winning and has been actively making trades to improve his team in hopes of earning that recognition.
"It was the talk of hockey a few weeks ago when LeBron mentioned Chicago's points streak on Twitter, which in turn got the Blackhawks noticed by national media," said Shero. "We made it our goal that day as an organization to get noticed by him."
If Pittsburgh can increase its win streak to 14 games, team owner Mario Lemieux has said he will have the tweet placed on a banner, which will be raised to the Consol Energy Center rafters alongside the team's three Stanley Cup championship banners.
Nothing says love like a consolation prize.
Picture Lebron's Face as Abraham Lincoln
Who would make a better president: LeBron Lincoln or Michael Jordan?
He has peaked. It's all downhill from here.
Ice cream: what the Telestrator was invented for.
It will always be Flop City first, Lob City second.