Time to shut down baseball. It can get no better than this.
Arizona Diamondbacks: You would attend more games if all the seats at Chase Field were in a swimming pool.
Atlanta Braves: You don't understand how anyone can really believe that great pitching is the key to winning a championship.
Baltimore Orioles: You think one of the most beautiful things ever created by man is a warehouse.
Boston Red Sox: You are kind of hoping for back-to-back losing seasons so you can talk to your dad and grandfather about the misery of being a Boston Red Sox fan.
Chicago Cubs: You are disgusted with all of the losing and won't put up with it anymore. And then you have your fifth beer and feel pretty good about everything again.
Chicago White Sox: You can't understand why anyone would want to go to a shitty old stadium like Wrigley Field when they could go to a shitty newer stadium like U.S. Cellular Field.
That was wait for it ridiculous.
Picture Astros Fans See Winning Mustache
If that mustache isn't batting cleanup tomorrow, the Astros don't want to win.
George Costanza's nephew is slimmer than he was.
Canada is a dangerous place full of psychopaths.
Maybe he's just showing that they got one hit.
Many great comedians have come from Canada.
Picture Mike Trout is Aging Horribly
Looks like they accidentally ran an Albert Pujols photo.
Dodger legend rankings: 1) Jackie Robinson; 2) this guy.