Chris "Topher" Bosh
"Molasses" Ray Leonard
"Sometimes Flip-Flops" Joe Jackson
Julius "The OB/GYN" Erving
"Julius" Earvin Johnson
Earvin "Reality" Johnson
Earvin "Black Larry Bird" Johnson
Willie Mays: "The Say Wha? Brah"
"They have been very active throughout the league making it know they are looking to do sign-and-trades," said one AL Central general manager. "I haven't talked to a free agent yet who hasn't been contacted by the Marlins. They have money to spend, it's just that they will then trade the player for prospects and cast-offs a week or two later."
According to Mike Moye, Josh Hamilton's agent, the Marlins have offered his client "a very generous 7-year deal," which is for more years than the Rangers will go. "The one hang-up is that Josh has to waive his no-trade clause so the Marlins can dump him. Josh doesn't want to be stuck playing in Kansas City or San Diego or some baseball hell like that."
Miami owner Jeffrey Loria denies that his team is looking to acquire top free agents, only to immediately flip them.
"There is no way we would sign someone and then immediately trade him," said Loria. "We would keep these players at least through Opening Day so we can sell season tickets off of their names. Then, when our fans are duped, trade them."
Picture New Mexico Hates Canada
Not surprising. They had a choice to go by New Canada or New Mexico and chose the latter.
News Jimmy Rollins Terrified By His Negative PECOTA Projection After Nate Silver Aces Presidential Election
"My wife was telling me about this stats guy who nailed the whole election," said Rollins. "So I check out his site, and this dude got, like, every single electoral vote right."
Rollins proceeded to read as many of Silver's posts as he could, until hitting what he described as a "bullshit New York Times paywall". So the 2007 NL MVP went ahead and Googled "Nate Silver stats genius", wondering how the pollster expertly predicted Obama's razor-thin win in Florida, but instead discovered Silver's PECOTA projection system for baseball players' career trajectories.
"Apparently [Silver's] numbers say I'm gonna turn into Alan Trammell, but with less range. Which seems crazy, but that guy got 31 out of 33 Senate races right, so yeah, I'm gonna call that ESPN guy back about the color commentator job."
It's a long way from the glory days of playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates. So depressing.
1. Their spacing and understanding of positions totally blows
- - -
2. They are unbelievably weak
He didn't get one hit in the World Series.