TBS play-by-play announcer Chip Caray made his most memorable and confusing call of the postseason Sunday night, declaring that the Minnesota Twins had advanced to the ALCS thanks to a three-game sweep of the New York Yankees.
"And that's it!" shouted Caray following Minneosota's final out in the bottom of the ninth inning. "The Twins have upset the mighty Yankees! And on they go to the ALCS where they will take on the Pittsburgh Pirates for the Stanley Cup!"
Caray's call left his partner, color guy Ron Darling, dumbfounded "Even for Chip it was a bad call," said Darling and led to confusing post-game interviews.
"Joe Nathan, you have been on a roll lately. How did you shut down the potent Yankees offense?" Caray asked the struggling closer postgame.
"Is that supposed to be sarcastic?" replied Nathan.
"Fisted!" responded Caray.
Following his interview with the confused Nathan, Caray took a gentler approach with Alex Rodriguez, who hit two big home runs in the short series.
"Alex, another playoff series, same problems," said Caray. "How can you explain your postseason struggles?"
"Well, Chip, I feel like I overcame some of those in this series, as you may have noticed," said Rodriguez. "I hit two home runs."
"Were any of them fisted?" asked Caray.
"Umm. No, I don't think so," said Rodriguez.
"Well, then I probably missed them," replied Caray. "Do you still play for the Mariners?"
TBS Sports president Jack Holley said he was sorry that the network stuck the nation with Caray.
"I lost a poker game to his grandfather 15 years ago and he made me promise I'd keep Chip employed," said Holley. "And our only other option was George Lopez. I figured this was a fair trade. I was wrong."
Alex Rodriguez crushed a grand slam home run into the upper deck last night before a capacity crowd at Yankee Stadium, but later that inning his feat was quickly upstaged when teammate Derek Jeter hit baseball's first-ever five-run homer.
Jeter's blast flew clean out of the stadium and hit the facing of a highrise several block away. On impact the ball hit a downspout, breaking it open and freeing an adorable puppy that had been trapped inside.
"It's tough playing on the same team as Derek sometimes," said a noticeably disappointed Rodriguez. "He always manages to grab the spotlight. That's okay, though. Part of me just wants to win."
Jeter's blast also came in the bottom of the sixth inning during a little-known Yankees charity sponsorship that donates $1 million to youth organizations should a Yankees player be the second to hit a four (or more) run home run in the sixth inning.
"I'm going to eat tonight because of Derek Jeter," said one homeless child. "Derek Jeter saved my life."
But Jeter, ever the team player, was sure to credit Rodriguez.
"If he hadn't hit that four-run homer first, my five-run homer wouldn't have meant anything for charity," said the Yankee captain. "It still would have been unbelievably awesome, just not as unbelievably awesome."
Both Yankees stars received standing ovations from the crowd for their home runs, but Jeter's compelled all of the fans in handicapped seating to stand and applaud, as well.
"Derek Jeter gave me the use of my arms and legs," cried one fan who has been paralyzed since birth. "He is a wonderful man and, more important, a true Yankee!"
Rodriguez says he is just happy to have done his part to get the win and knows there are more important things in life than fan adoration.
"I'm just enjoying life and enjoying my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Kate Hudson," Rodriguez said, holding Hudson's hand as Jeter motorboated Minka Kelly a few steps behind him.
There is only one day until the start of the MLB playoffs and SportsPickle is previewing each playoff team. Today: Minnesota Twins.
There are only a few days until the start of the MLB playoffs and SportsPickle is previewing each playoff team. Today: St. Louis Cardinals.
There are only a few days until the start of the MLB playoffs and SportsPickle is previewing each playoff team. Today: Colorado Rockies.
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NL wildcard winner / Playoff seed: No. 4 / NLDS opponent: Philadelphia Phillies
The Colorado Rockies and their fans have gotten a lot of mileage out of "Rocktober." But I think they're limiting the use of ROCK in more words.
Here are some other possibilities, Rockies fans. Try them out!
Rockcident When a Rockies player gets hurt via groceries, an ATV or deer meat.
Playing cops and Rockers A euphemism for getting arrested for soliciting a really ugly prostitute a la Denny Neagle
Rocktopus The girlfriend of a Rockies player.
RocktoMom A former Rocktopus who has been knocked up.
Rocktogenarian A Rockies fan as old or older than Todd Helton.
Rocktogon The status of a young, star Rockies player who everyone knows will be gone one day when the team can no longer afford him. "Enjoy Matt Holliday now because he is Rocktogon."
Rocktion The practice of selling off players who are Rocktogon for whatever the team can get.
Rockward The annual ritual of switching the calendar over to November without a World Series title. "Rockward!"