Handicapper

There's nothing that can be added to any analysis of these teams or this game at this point after two weeks of hype. Instead, let's take a look at some of the prop bets you should bet on.

Let's focus on the keys to the game for each team in Sunday's conference championship games.

An Eagles team employee filmed himself spitting on the midfield star at Cowboys Stadium last week. Many people were upset by this. Ridiculous. Wait until this week when Donovan McNabb vomits on it.

After pulling their starters last week against the Jets, Dallas Morning News columnist Rick Gosselin opined that the Colts had "violated the public trust." Jeez. Just imagine what this guy would say if he watched the Bills regularly.

People are suddenly shocked that with a win today the Steelers may very well control their playoff destiny. Duh! I was saying before the season even started that they controlled their playoff destiny. Sometimes it's exhausting to be so smart.

The NFL is prepared to fine Chad Ochocinco if he wears No. 15 in honor of Chris Henry. Classy, NFL! Really classy! Anyway, you have been warned, Ochocinco. If you choose to get fined, know you had it coming. Just like Chris Henry -- right, Jay Feely?

I feel bad for Ravens fans. I really do. They actually thought Joe Flacco was a great quarterback. They had been subjected to such horrific play at quarterback since getting a team, when they got something slightly better they thought he was a star. But he's not. He's a Ravens quarterback just as much as Jay Cutler is a Bears quarterback. Ravens fans seem to me like that guy in high school who never had any success with girls. Then, the first time someone pays him any attention, he falls madly in love. But then, eventually, he comes to his senses and realizes he's been hooking up with a total ugger. A girl who looks like Joe Flacco. A girl with an unsightly unitaint.

I always get the "Who dey" and the "Who dat" cheers mixed up. "Who dat" is Saints, right? And so I guess "Who dey" is Bengals. But what about "Whom dat"? Harvard or Yale?

Thanksgiving is all about tradition. For example, being thankful during the day. And, then, at night, getting pissed off that the relative you're visiting doesn't get the NFL Network. I mean, really. How can you be related to this people?

This game is blacked-out in Detroit. I supposed it will be on in Cleveland and ... nowhere else. Whoever CBS assigned to call this game might want to consider other career options. For example, playing NFL football. I'm sure they could make either of these teams.