Uga VI, the mascot of the Georgia Bulldogs, was laid to rest on Monday, two days after he passed away from congestive heart failure at age 9 (63).

            “Uga was a symbol our entire university and that means he represents something great,” said University president Michael Adams. “But he was also just a dog. So we just dug a shallow hole in the backyard and dropped him in it. Tomorrow we’ll start looking for a replacement.”

            The beloved icon did receive several special accommodations not afforded a regular dog, however.

            “We wiped him off a little bit first,” said Adams. “He had sh-t himself when he died, so we cleaned off his butt. Oh, and we buried him with his favorite plastic chew toy. Not because I think he’s going to chew it in the afterlife or anything. That’s ridiculous. I just didn’t know if it was recyclable or not, so instead of risking putting it in the wrong trash container, I tossed it into the shallow grave along with his corpse.”

            Some in the University of Georgia community suggested that Uga VI have a special ceremony held in honor of his passing, and then be placed in a marble vault and buried at Sanford Stadium, but those proposals were quickly laughed off.

            “It’s a f—king dog,” said Director of Athletics Damon Evans. “Most people don’t get that kind of send off. Heck, some of our fans were the people explaining away Michael Vick’s dog-fighting a year ago and now they want to put a dog to rest like a head of state? Get lost. We are a state university with a very tight budget. We’re not spending money on a marble vault for a f—king slobber-covered dog. Just because something can lick its balls doesn’t make it a god.”

            President Adams admits part of him wishes the school had given Uga a more ceremonial burial.

            “I’m worried we buried him too shallow,” he said. “Although he’s only a dog, I’m worried a coyote will dig him up and spread chunks of him all over the main lawn. That might upset a lot of people.”